Maneater

Was this a movie, or a cinematic music video?

The music was TOO LOUD! I couldn't hear a word the actors were saying, because all I could hear was some Mariah Carey wannabe, belting out vocals loud enough to wake the dead!

Even when there was no singing, the music in the background was unbelievably loud, drowning out everything.

For obvious reasons, turning the volume up made it worse. I couldn't get passed the 10-minute mark for this exact reason. I don't feel too bad though, as the film looked gash anyway...and after reading reviews on here, it's clear I dodged a bullet!

In summary: THE. MUSIC. WAS. TOO. LOUD.

I have seen quite a lot of sharkmovies. Some of which were really bad. This one was beyond bad. Sure when starting to watch this movie I didn't expect much of it, however it was even worse. It is not the acting, or casting, which ain't good, but those neednt to be good in these kind of movies. It is the plot and script writing which are terrible and the direction isn't any better. People hardly feel fear, anger or sadness. Without any ruining spoilers it is safe to say that in these kind of movies people die. However it looked like nobody cared. People getting over a loss in a few days or even hours. Furthermore it seems like the filming location took all the budget, since the shark attacks were not shown. The shark itself is probably a Bruce ordered at Wish or Temu. Why 3 stars instead of 2 or even one? Well a good sharkmovie should either be thrilling and score high (Jaws), either be mediocre but at least has some action in it (the Meg) or superbad that is fun to watch (sharknado). This was none of these.

I mean, what happened? This guy was Michael in Nikita, had a bunch of starring films and now all he does are awful DTV CGI films! He needs to start taking roles that are more risky. This has to be the ugliest shark in the history of cinema. The guy still looks great, has talent, but seems to be in it for the cash. He's the male Eliza Dushku at this point.

Hopefully better movies are on the way. It's been dud after dud and he could do better.

The location was the best part of the whole film.

The CGI shark is atrocious and there are entire CGI sequences like the floating dead body in the water that made this feel like it was an episode of LEXX.

Yessirree y'all, the redneck saves the day, gawdammit!

The acting and script in this much-hyped film is absolutely atrocious. Why Jeff Fahey signed up for it beats me, maybe he has money troubles.

We're led to believe that these people are stranded on this island, with no hope of rescue, but every time there's a wider camera shot there's loads of boats around!

The CGI shark is amazing, able to change it size and shape at will.

The island paradise this film is set in is supposedly off Hawaii, but could well be Bognor, as it's as grey, windy and dark as a British summer.

Our hero, Harlan, struggles to speak discernable English, and is to acting as freezing water is to an erection.

Sadly, yet another film in the 'why did they bother' category.

It doesn't get much more unrealistic than this movie. There were absolutely no attempts made to make the shark and shark attacks look real, and one of the main characters blatantly flirts with a taken man right in front of his significant other. This is essentially a cheesy slasher film with a shark replacing a human serial killer. At one point, just like in your typical horror movie, two people go off alone for obviously scandalous reasons and somehow their friends don't notice they're missing right away. And of course one of these people were explicitly told not to go in the water, but of course they do.