The Weapon

Find something else to watch. Just another totally convoluted movie that starts in the middle and jumps round and round. Just the millionth version of pretty much the same old script, but so are most of the others out there. Could have been at least decent, but they missed that boat completely. Full of second-rate actors trying to climb their way up, but this is not the way to do it. It's hard to give a good performance in a bad movie. Besides, they all look pretty much the same, same gruffy faces, same dingy clothes, same boring lines, all given in poorly lit dungy settings. Forget the Cuba Gooding tease. Only thing that got me here, but he was just there to pick up a check for his lawyers, say a few lines, and go back home.

When I tell you this is the worst movie you will ever see in your life, it's an understatement. I can't even say it's a C film, it's that bad. There's a little room for forgiveness due to this being actor Tony Schiena's (who also acted in this film) first time as a director.

But where there's no excuse is how horribly this was written by Michael Caissie. This is the most incoherent and inept screenplay ever written. The plot is so convoluted with ridiculous characters popping in and out with no backstory, reason or explanation. It's so bad, that the actual dialogue one tough-guy says is "L-O-L".

Then you have the worst editing I have ever seen - was this mess even edited? Scenes just end and another starts like the screenplay was shredded and randomly taped back together. The screenplay and editing need to be studied in film school on what not to do.

Don't be fooled by some high-caliber names being cast, I'm sure they are all regretting it - albeit the minimal scenes they had. The score was loud and overbearing, and all casting and performances including the action scenes, were amateur-hour cringeworthy.

I'm baffled at the production companies that saw the final cut and decided to go to market thinking this nonsense was watchable, because it's not. It's irritatingly and frustratingly unwatchable.

It's a very generous 2/10 from me, out of pity for some of the decent actors that had their names attached to this.

This is such a mess, it looks so low budget, and the script is very weak. There is a good performance by Cuba Gooding Jr. But the editing of his dialogue scenes are quite weak. As for the acting of the rest of it, other then the immortal Bruce Dern's scene is so abysmal its hard to watch. The fight/action scenes are poorly choreographed, and camera angles are so clumsy its obviously not realistic. Telling a story like this takes quite a bit of setting up, character history is vital. Yet here this about 4 minutes of history, which has no real connection other then clumsy flashbacks. Trying to make a film like this usually takes multiple rewrites to get the dialogue to flow. This looks like they rushed through it in a few days, or weeks.

I have many other criticisms but why bother the film is just worth it.

How the hell did this even get made? Who owes Tony Sheena so many favors that they actually let this asshat star AND direct this pathetic mess. How much did they have to pay CGJ to be in this? Also, when does he show up? I think I missed it between the worst, fake fight scenes I've ever seen and checking my spam mail because I was so bored I would rather read phishing emails and ads for Viagra.

Yes, the editing is terrible. But don't blame the editors. They were just trying to splice together some semblance of a narrative from the train wreck of raw footage. It's pretty clear that Tony Sheena wants to be an action star, but his Small Dick Energy is too overwhelming. He's so unconvincing as just a human being, much less a star. To call his acting wooden would be an insult to wood. Avoid at all costs.

This is just a very terrible mivie. Given the cast I didn't think it would be nearly as bad as it is. It is an overly convoluted action movie that lacks much in the way of real action. And the story just makes no sense at all. The acting is extremely sub par and the script is down right awful.

Now I must ramble on because IMDB requires a minimal number of characters for a review. Spoiler alert - there are no spoilers in this review. You can't really spoil a movie that is this bad. To say this movie is cliche is an understatement. From the first scene to the last it keeps getting worse. Do yourself a favor and pass on this movie.