Quicksand

So I watched this with a friend who had a wisdom tooth removed this week and had a considerably better time during that dentist trip than watching this film.

We absolutely love a rubbish film but this went too far. TOO FAR!

All I could think about was how comfortable they looked standing up in the apparent quicksand, plus why does the woman look stoned all the time, and how much more condescending can the man get?

All in all, an actual genuine waste of time. Which is coming from a lover of terrible films. I dont even have more words but I'm being forced to find some for this review/warning.

Oh yes, a final thought is how are people's faces so clean coming out of that mud? Seriously.

It could have been a great movie in the hands of a good director. Because the subject is interesting. There is not 2 meters between life and death and you are sinking right before your eyes. There is nothing to press and get strength from.

But unfortunately the movie could not use this situation. It could have added more scary elements and given more humane reactions. Here we mostly watched the accounting of the couple who were about to break up. The reason for running into the swamp was also very absurd. Also, this swamp was not pulling in. That is also interesting. I have lost one of my legs in the swamp while running through high grass once in my life. It pulled in seconds like a bottomless pit. Thank God my other foot and hands were on solid ground. That is why the movie is quite far from convincing. The acting is also very amateur.

There is no sexuality or nudity in the movie.

Well, who would have figured that getting stuck in quicksand would be so unfathomably boring?

When I sat down to watch this 2023 thriller from writer Matt Pitts and director Andres Beltran, I had never actually heard about the movie. But I will say that the synopsis for the movie was interesting enough. However, I scrolled through some of the reviews here on IMDb, and it wasn't all praise and admiration for the movie.

Yet, I opted to watch "Quicksand" on the account of the taste of the reviewers that I had read differed from mine. But I have to say that writer Matt Pitts put together a very bland and boring script for director Andres Beltran to bring to life on the screen.

I must admit that I never felt that the Sofia (played by Carolina Gaitan) and Josh (played by Allan Hawco) characters were ever in any real danger in the movie. And it seemed like they could just have turned around and easily pulled themselves out of the mire. It just never came off as being a dangerous situation and the wooden acting and cringeworthy dialogue just didn't help to convince me.

The movie has a very small cast ensemble, which means that there was all the more pressure laying on the few performers on the cast list. Sadly, however, they just weren't given any chance to carry the movie, because the script, the dialogue and the character gallery had the appeal of sitting down to watch grass growing. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in "Quicksand".

I didn't stick around to finish watching the movie, because at the 56 minute marker, I was just bored to tears. And I had even dozed off once throughout the course of those 56 excrutiatingly long minutes. And believe you me, when i say that I am never returning to finish watching the rest of "Quicksand".

My rating of "Quicksand" lands on a two out of ten stars.

I'd say this sunk fast, but even at only 86 minutes, it felt like it was four hours.

All I know about quicksand, I learned from movies and TV shows, mostly during the 70s. It's hardly ever brought up anymore. I mean, I guess if you count Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And no one really counts that.

This was just plain dumb with LARGE melodramatic chunks, unnecessary slo-mo, poorly paced, really odd choices in acting and life-threatening twists that abruptly end without conclusion. Admittedly, there were tense moments, but again, they fizzle fast and back to more Hallmark/Lifetime scenes.

A really annoying couple are breaking up since this had to keep with the standard Man v Nature Movie Tropes. After what feels like an eternity, they land right into the Title Card and if you've seen Open Water, that's how this mostly plays out. Only...this had a much different ending. A hard one to believe, but they had a budget and had to end the movie as the money ran out.

When I was a kid, I was deathly afraid of quicksand because of what I saw on the tele. I've been told, it's nothing like what you see on TV or in movies. So, I just YouTubed how to survive quicksand and...okay, I'll give this movie some realism. But, JUST A LITTLE BIT.

Kinda hard to make an entire movie based on Quicksand and yet, they've done more with less. Open Water and 127 Hours just to name a couple. I WANTED to like this more, especially with my phobia. Nope.

I'm never ever going to the jungle; I vow and I'm gonna let that sink in.

***

Final Thoughts: Funny, the quicksand scene I remember most from any media was The Incredibly Hulk when David got stuck and was sinking until a blind chick tried to save him. Not before he freaked/hulked out, naturally. It's been an eternity since I saw that clip, but I suspect Hulk's anger would've made him sink even faster. Spoiler, he lives. Imagine if THAT'S what ultimately brought the Hulk down. So to speak.

Let's put aside the absurdity of confronting someone breaking into your vehicle in the middle of the woods. Then also put aside the absurdity of your fight or flight instincts kicking in, but they tell you to take Flight after you've already gained the upper hand through Fight. Then put aside the ridiculousness of a thief wildly shooting into the woods because....if you can't see the person you're trying to shoot, the trees will suffice? The foundation for this movie is ridiculous is what I'm getting at.

The internet has been telling us for the last decade that it's actually near impossible to get fully submerged or even die in quicksand if you're a human being with intelligence greater than a 6 year old. This movie asks the question "what's the internet?"