Bury the Bride

So, these characters make some dumb choices. And then they make really dumb decisions. I mean how did you not miss the stupidity of the choices. Women on a bachelorette party have the groom and his backwater friends stop by to "meet and greet." The problem is, these guys (groom included) are obvious rejects from Deliverance, but this only seems disturbing to one of the women, and abrasive for a couple others. Once the intentions of the men are clear, things make more sense on one hand, but all the more unreasonable for the original question of "How did the women choose to get into this situation?" Nothing new then happens but standard tropes of this type of isolated backwater situation. The end isn't too surprising and has an underwhelming tone. Overall, I believe I only fast forwarded about 10 minutes toward the end to avoid the mind numbing chase scene.

Ordinarily I don't find it particularly difficult to come up with the required number of words in order to provide a review, but "Bury the Bride" is special. In fact, I suspect the filmmakers had the same problem when thinking up enough crap to regurgitate into the film cans in order to qualify it as a "movie." Now, I'm probably going to get some things wrong, but I was bored beyond words, blinded by the stupidity and frankly just didn't care. But here goes...

First off, we are introduced to the protagonists-an unlikable group of vapid young women who are celebrating a bridal party at a dirty shack in the desert. Then one girl's boyfriend crashes said party with his buddies. They are all very unpleasant rednecks and it's hard to follow the interminably long conversation they all have, not just because it's dumb, boring and seemingly pointless, but because you are mostly distracted trying to figure out how in the world these people met, why are they together as they seem so completely incompatible, and how is it possible to not realize said totally incompatible, unpleasant, redneck boyfriend is a vampire, as are all his buddies?

Oh yeah, redneck vampires in the Southern California desert.

Look, I'm not going any further exploring the movie, because I don't want to remember any more-I just want to finish this review, warn you stay away, and continue on with my life. But considering the script was written in a week and a half and the film was shot in even less time should be a concern in itself. And honestly, the only interesting side note is that Chas Bono is in it.

There is no redeeming value here. Its rating has been inflated by some questionably high scores. Then again, there's no accounting for taste. And if this kind of hot mess is your taste, then I suggest you stay far away from the Oscars.

This movie was on its way to be a little hidden gym, but something happened halfway through. It's almost like they had a change in the script, or a change in the Director, because the whole tone of the movie changed, and sadly not for the better.

The first half of the movie is very well done. The unknown actors did a great job and I chuckled at several parts so it had a little comedy to it as well.

But then something completely changed with the movie. You will probably see what I'm talking about. It's when they wake up on the second day. From there it's not nearly as good as the first half.

Still, not a bad movie I guess, but it could have been great.

5/10.

Five women from SoCal travel to a remote hunting cabin for an unorthodox bachelorette party. The filthy cabin is owned by the redneck fiancé of June (Scout Taylor-Compton) and he unexpectedly shows up with several of his hick friends for an unforgettable night.

"Bury the Bride" (2023) is cabin-in-the-woods horror helmed by the younger brother of Rob Zombie, Michael David Cummings (aka Spider One), who's the frontman of the band Powerman 5000. Like his brother, he features his spouse/partner in his movies, which is Krsy Fox (Sadie).

Despite the skankiness of Lyndsi LaRose's character, Carmen, she's a highlight on the female front; very stunning. Thankfully, Scout Taylor-Compton's June is more winsome and takes second place.

To appreciate this flick, you have to be able to stomach the white-trash-in-the-sticks horror of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and typical Rob Zombie flicks. It combines the cabin-in-the-woods setting with bits of "Deliverance" and films that I can't name because I don't want to give anything away. Let's just say that the surprise at the 38-minute mark works well and there are a few genuine scares, as well as effective spookiness.

The movie runs 1 hour, 23 minutes, was shot in Los Angeles.

GRADE: B-

I had only heard about the title of this movie, but didn't know what the movie was about. And thus, as I happened to stumble upon the movie here in 2024, of course I opted to sit down and watch it, since it was a horror movie that I hadn't already seen. Given my life-long romance with the horror genre, of course I needed no persuasion to sit down and watch "Bury the Bride".

The storyline in the movie is pretty straightforward, though the movie does take a much needed change of direction and pacing around 38 minutes into the ordeal. Writers Krsy Fox and Spider One, with the former also directing and starring in the movie, put together a fair enough script. Sure it wasn't a revolutionary script or narrative, but it proved to be entertaining enough for what it turned out to be.

However, I have to say that it was a bit difficult to buy into the part of the storyline that June (played by Scout Taylor-Compton) would be marrying David (played by Dylan Rourke), because the two characters were just so very, very far apart in terms of types of characters.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, aside from Krsy Fox and Scout Taylor-Compton. It was a rather small cast ensemble, but the actors and actresses definitely put on good performances and carried the movie nicely.

The special effects in "Bury the Bride" were good, and definitely served the movie well.

Watchable, sure, but "Bury the Bride" is hardly a movie that I will return to watch a second time, as there simply isn't enough contents to the script and storyline to support more than just a single viewing.

My rating of "Bury the Bride" lands on a five out of ten stars.