Freeze

Poor acting, poor costumes, poor looking monsters and this is just the 5 min of the movie. Poor acting goes into over acting by hamming it up like a cheap thespian on stage in Bognor Regis. The creatures remind me of the Jon Petwee , Dr Who series run of rubber monsters. Seriously this movie is not worth your time because it sucks on a huge scale. 1/10 for being the worst movie to call itself an horror movie. I haven't left any spoilers in this review because there is no worthy spoilers to be given away in truth because the film is just so awful. If anyone can justify making this movie I will be astounded but I am going for tax loss reasons!

Don't get me wrong now, I absolutely love the horror industry, and when considering movies, I do my very best to find excuses for weaker ones. I can talk about the budget, the experience of the people involved in the making, the conditions, the meddling from the studios and so on.

Freeze failed on absolutely every aspect:

• terrible monsters. The costumes weren't abysmal but their movement, the sounds just amateur all the way.

• killshots. Whenever it is time for a killshot or for some suspense, we get fade to black and a scream.

• effects. Practical but sadly all bad.

• plot. Definitely not ok. You witness more dialogue than anything else.

• no tensions, eyecandy, nudity, gore.

Sadly it really is a prime example of how not to do a horror. For me it looked more like live theatre, also done very badly. It just did not work and it is absolutely impossible to take it serious.

You need about 15 minutes and you realise that this one...is not good.

Cheers.

Well, I've seen it. You need to see it, otherwise you would not believe that something like this is possible in the year of 2022. If this movie would have been shot, let's say in 1925, it might, perhaps, have been a mediocre movie, despite the bad acting, the ridiculous monsters and the obvious disregard of the fact, that it is cold, in fact, freezing, when all around you is covered with snow, and so on., I do wonder who was willing to finance such a disaster, and find actors desperate enough to participate in such a movie. I guess the producer must be a very convincing person with an hypnotic aura.

The movie gives a nod to H. P. Lovecraft, and uses creatures that would be at home in a Roger Corman movie. It is not a movie of a ship being stranded in the Arctic for years, and their survival. Although they are in search of the crew and Captain Streiner, who set out to try and sail to the North Pole, so this was set in the 19th Century, with sailing ships. Their ship also get trapped in the ice, and then creatures, ichthyoids, come aboard and do some killing. What is left of the crew flees the ship, and there is also a woman who was a stowaway on the ship who also leaves. They are able to find a cave, which also has quite a few ichthyoids present, and they also find Captain Streiner, but his crew was all killed, but he managed to survive. The scenery is interesting, a vast snow wasteland, but when the people are outside, they really aren't dressed for the cold. Coats unbuttoned, no hats and only in one scene did they have gloves on. It could have been really interesting, but instead missed the mark.

I love creature features, and Lovecraften horror. So the premise of this was pretty exciting, and they had nice details with the Lovecraften monster type drawings, but it had literally no atmosphere.

At no point did this film feel like a horror, there was no tension, any danger felt more like action adventure type fighting. The acting was next level bad, but even though some of the characters were ridiculous. It wasn't entertaining bad. Like the villain you know who he is the second he opens his mouth, because he is muhwhahahaha pantomime evil.

And the script and lines just felt really awkward.

The monster design is really generic and uninteresting, and were so obviously fake. All round it was just disappointing.