Dead Hot: Season of the Witch

Why does a movie like this exist? It has no director and no writer, i.e. There literally is no script, meaning they just randomly chose what to film and then edited it together. Any other persons appearing are not even credited, they seem to be either locals or personal acquaintances of the two actresses, who literally play themselves for crying out loud.

Apart from absolutely nothing significant happening, there's neither a dramatic arch or character development. And of course there isn't - there is no script! The base message of "be yourself" is so forced in through overlay monologues that it loses all meaning. Any franchise tie-in with the sole purpose of keeping up the license has more substance and, most of all, reason to be made in the first place. It just feels like Hudgens and Magree were bored, so they made a movie, expenses paid by the producers.

This feels like some random, very subpar Youtube documentary about two teens with the paranormal as a hobby, it's full of either bland or forcefully polemic babble and all in all has nothing redeeming whatsoever.

This "movie" documents the journey Vanessa Hudgens and GG Magree undertake to discover true witchcraft and enter the spirit world.

Yeah, right.

Whilst wearing negligees and appearing always slightly intoxicated, they giggle and prance around Salem.

It's a ridiculous farce. Then, Vanessa gets to the "serious" part where she reads from a journal about her growth and discoveries with braid extensions and lots of candles.

Again, yeah right. It's laughable and cringy.

You'll learn nothing.

It's these two blathering idiots discussing the women tried as witches ...and female empowerment. It's shockingly distespectful to those women who suffered and died.

There is no way anyone could possibly sit through it all the way through. I did it for you. Save yourselves...choose ANYTHING else.

Imagine two grown women who have the combined IQ of a single schoolgirl. Imagine a string of failed relationships. Imagine an unhealthy interest in wicca and witchcraft because it's a safe-space and its somehow cool to tap into potentially malevolent forces.

Take these ingredients and send Vanessa Hudgens and Georgia Magree down to Salem to do some ghost-hunting. Add in various colorful Salem residents, let the pot boil for 98 (long) minutes and watch these two gullible characters become reborn and reinvigorated thanks to the accommodating business-people of Salem (who in no way profited with Ouija Board tuitions, book sales, wine sales, spiritual guidance, etc).

Watch two grown women bake cookies and over-share about how broken they are whilst dressing like they're 16. It's a truly inspiring tale that grinds The Patriarchy into the dirt and cannot be described as self-publicizing fluff for a Z-list actress and an obscure Australian-DJ.

Look out for the sequel next year where they set up a coven in LA where hi-jinks are aplenty.

If there's no Oscar nod next year for this masterpiece, I'm going to demand answers.

This "reality" show fiasco is exactly what one would expect from a show runner, a camera operator, and a bunch of other TV errand boys & girls whose previous gigs were the Lizzo show, Haunted Highway & Keeping up with the Ks.

There is nothing hot here. Both girls slather on two pounds of pancake foundation (and not enough powder) & slip into Demonia vinyl platform boots to tell us about their personal journey into witchiness. They throw in some terribly bad acting, fake ghost detections, a hoaky graveyard set (Peter Killer, really?) & an embarrassingly naïve revisionist take on the Salem Witch trials, which are blamed on the Patriarchy, despite the original accusers being young girls. Judging from the sleep-over style presentation, young girls aged 10-11 years old are indeed the obvious target audience here, despite both Hudgens & Magree being close to 35 years old.

All of these factors result in a femdom empowerment roadtrip to Snoresville. Save your 90 minutes & watch The Craft instead.

It's more about looking cute in goth attire than showing respect to spirits of any kind. High school slumber party where they hold fake seances and light as a feather stiff as a board comes to mind. The young women are lovely and engaging, but perhaps they watched The Craft one too many times. The history of the place and tours of the old buildings were informative and interesting, and the viewer is introduced to people genuinely involved in the study of spiritual matters like communication with the dead and witchcraft. And, as has become the norm in paranormal shows, they forget that those who died as a result of the Salem trials were not practicing witches.