Cade: The Tortured Crossing

This film is a breathtaking piece of cinema. The chances are that you did not stumble randomly into a Breen movie. You know exactly what you are getting yourself in for - an experience of a lifetime. And his latest film delivers exactly that, and yet so much more. In "Cade: the tortured crossing", Breen nonchalantly dismisses conventional movie making practices, disregarding trivialities such as continuity, plot, character development, credible special effects and effective editing. Instead, Breen boldly challenges our notions of cinematic entertainment with a 96 minute tour de force of insanity that will leave you questioning why you even got out of bed this morning. Breen masterfully uses computer editing techniques to produce some of the most breathtaking martial arts battles ever to be captured on camera. While some critics argue that this film could have been made by inept high school students, they simply do not understand what Breen brings to the cinematic table. Breen's genius lies in his ability to create extremely low-quality, low-cost films that somehow manage to become cult classics regardless of how bad they are. Yes, its true - this film is a disaster in terms of production quality. The film was shot entirely on a blue screen, using only five or six backgrounds for the whole production. Shots are held for too long, the dialogue is barely audible and rarely makes sense, and the music is too loud. There are few sequences where more than four shots are linked together logically. However, in spite of these shortcomings, this film presents a thought provoking and profound analysis of the human condition, and an incisive critique of the US mental healthcare system. Thoroughly recommended.

Ok, where do I start.

To begin with, the lack of talent of this monumentally delusional fella is unparalleled. People might say 'The Room' is the worst movie ever, and it probably is, though I do beg to differ. In my humble opinion that would be the case had not Neil Breen ever existed. Sadly though, he did.

I have seen all of his so-called movies. They all are undeniably horrible; non existing writing & cinematography, delusional characters, Mr Breen himself that can only do good even when he's on various killing sprees, wooden acting (especially on his part,) lack of facial expressions (times-two on his part), the list goes on.

And, after having carefully 'considered' his pedigree, I must say that 'Cade: The tortured Crossing' reaches - by a long shot - the peak of senile stupidity.

Neil Green is a strange animal, even stranger than the white are-you-kidding-me-what-is-this-CGI tiger present in this mega turkey. I mean, each movie he makes, things get worst. He seems not to be able to understand anything on moviemaking, wrapped in his (I'd guess) heavily self medicated self delusion.

I cannot get past the childish attitude this untalented fella projects on the screen. I cannot get past the moment he saw a... "Hey, look! A green screen! OMG now I can make a whole movie disregarding (even more than before) perspective, storytelling, acting. I gotta run though, gotta use as many pictures as possible from my ShutterStock free trial.

A Romanian Castle? Perfect!

A dilapidated building? Right on!

The Austrian Alps? Fantastic!

Whatever? Even better!

Who cares!! Now I will be able to do any nonsensical no-sense anytime I want. Tell you what, from now on call me Neil Green." Ok, all jokes aside he clearly must have some kind of issues, and I am saying that because no functioning person can misuse a brain the way he does.

I need to add something else. I have never reviewed any of his stuff, this time I had to. Especially after having noticed the scam he's pulling off here on the IMDB database. The scores this master-crap is receiving (10s after 10s) reflect a troubling state of affairs. Clearly, the desire to inflate ratings means that among this man's numerous negative qualities a new one, perhaps the worst, is emerging: deception.

Enough now. Let's just end it by saying I wouldn't wish my worst enemy watching this pile of crap.

Please Neil Breen, please stop this insanity. Yes, you have a Ferrari, and yes you are and forever will be the good one, we got it. We finally did. So now your work's done. Please, disappear. Please.

Cade: The Tortured Crossing is the latest film from everyone's favorite cult movie director, Neil Breen. It's a sequel to another of his films, but I went in without seeing the first movie and still had a good time.

It's all around an awful movie, but it's also highly entertaining. I went to an actual theater showing of it, and I treasure the experience of cracking up and groaning to this movie with at least 100 other bad movie lovers. The dialog is stilted, the acting is stiff, the shots always linger too long, the script repeats itself so many times, and there's at least 7 fake-out endings that will have you begging and then cheering when the film finally does end. It broke my brain, but in a fun way. A very high laughs-per-minute rate as far as bad movies go. Watch it with a big crowd of fellow cult movie fanatics.

I stumbled upon this person's imbd page because life can be cruel. Intrigued, i went to the official site for the film, and subjected myself to the horrors of watching the trailer. What happened during, as well as the aftermath is sonething I wish not even on my worst enemy.

Let's begin with the "acting" (if it can even be considered that). I have watched adult films that have better acting than this. Hell, my dog (may she rest in peace), once faked an injury in order to stay in bed all day. Her acting was far better than what I saw in this (I know she was faking because I had knee surgery, and within minutes of getting home with a my leg immobilized, she suddenly started limping - plus the vet who examined her said there was absolutely nothing wrong... By dinnertime, she was running and jumping all over the place).

Then there's the green screen... Was every "set" a green screen? You're telling me they couldnt even be bothered to rent some warehouse and adapt it?

Fight scenes.... Enough said...

If you're a glutton for punishment, or need to atone for some really bad things you did in the past, then watch the trailer.. Might even get you karma points for future bad acts. If you really want to suffer, watch the entire film. I'm not going to subject myself to that level of torture, but you may be a bit stronger than me.

This was my first Neil Breen film. I knew what I was getting into, so I wasn't shocked by how inept it was--I doubt anyone who chooses to watch it would be surprised about that. Most folks who seek this out will be wanting laugh at how bad it turned out. Well, it's hard to imagine a movie could be any worse. The story is so poorly told, it makes The Room look well-structured. The basic plot is simple enough, but the way it unfolds is very hard to follow along with. There are absolutely no filmmaking techniques that will help the viewer understand anything that is happening. And the performances are so poor that unless someone states something implicitly, you don't know what they are doing or thinking. Neil might have had it worked out in his head, but he has no ability to communicate his intentions. I really beleive that for a person to put in the time, money, and effort to produce something like this, they must have some kind of impairment. I don't know if it was a brain injury, a developmental delay, or some other form of neurodivergence, but not only is Neil afflicted, I think that anyone who appears in his films must be, too. I can't think of any other reason a person would allow themself to perform the way these people do--not for money, not for acting experience--not even if they were being blackmailed. I haven't even gotten into how visually assaultive this movie is. Anyone who rates this higher than a 1 is only doing so to be funny. There is nothing to appreciate about any moment of Cade, except for fans of bad movies. Those are the only people I would ever hope will sit through this.