Una boda y otros desastres

Ah, "Beautiful Wedding" (2024), a cinematic adventure where Abby and Travis accidentally marry in Vegas and think, "Why not honeymoon in Mexico?" sounds like the kind of movie you'd invent to win a bet on making the most predictable rom-com ever. Yet, here it is, in all its glory, demanding that we sit through nearly two hours of what could only be described as a series of unfortunate events that make you wish they had annulled the movie along with the marriage.

First off, the chemistry between Abby and Travis is as convincing as a tofu steak at a barbecue. Their attempts at romantic banter feel more like awkward exchanges between strangers who've been forced to share a cab. The supporting cast of friends and family are intended to add spice and laughter but instead come off like they wandered in from a different, possibly more interesting movie set. Each gag lands with the subtlety of a brick, and the slapstick scenarios are as fresh as last week's guacamole.

By the time the plot drags us to the picturesque beaches of Mexico, you hope for some redemption or maybe a beautiful scenic distraction. But no, the film doubles down on its commitment to mediocrity with a series of predictable misunderstandings and reconciliations that feel as though they were scripted by a chatbot programmed to churn out clichés. "Beautiful Wedding" tries to be a feast of fun and fails spectacularly, serving up nothing but reheated leftovers from better movies. One and a half stars, and even that feels like a wedding gift.

This film is hilariously over-the-top to the point where it's almost a satirical look at the genre altogether. The first 15 minutes were fun with the "oh no, we got married" plot and introducing some more serious themes. But at almost exactly 20 minutes, everything goes downhill. The director chose to insert animations, make the characters unlikable, and camera angles that were abhorrent.

The writing is so grotesquely clunky that it's a wonder it was ever greenlit by production at all. Then you remember it's low budget and realize they though they could make a blockbuster out of pennies. They cannot.

The film isn't all bad. Sprouse's comedic timing and line delivery (even if the lines are terrible) is the saving grace of an otherwise over-the-top film. If you can detach yourself completely from a cohesive storyline, believable lines, and hyper-sexualized female lead, the film is...okay. It's fun and light, but doesn't come close to matching the bantering fun of the first film. You can tell it was written by a man whose peak humor is in sock puppets and Adam Sandler films.

For book fans...Just skip it altogether. If you need something to play in the background or critique for a film class, this is perfect.

This movie has to go down as one of the worst movies ever released. As someone who loved the books, this movie is a disgrace to the author! Even if you have not read them, this movie from start to finish is a complete joke!

From the over the top jokes, cock fighting fake crying scenes, pathetic over the top acting, awful awkward conversations, pulling dicks and tits out because the plot is going no where (and makes no sense), this low budget movie will leave you feeling mind numb, wishing you hadn't wasted an hour and a half of your life!

Save your time and energy and watch absolutely anything else!

What even is this movie and why am I watching it? Beautiful disaster was NOT a comedy. Why insult the author this way you cruel cruel producers. The source material was dramatic, edgy, slightly dark with a HEA. This is absolutely trash comedy and not even funny. C. R. I. N. G. E.

If you like the book, or even just remotely entertaining movies, this movie is not for you. I beg you to please do literally anything other than watch this film. Get a root canal for example. Clean the drain on the dishwasher.

This movie should be deleted from history; it has literally no redeeming features and my life is worse having watched even half of it. Could not finish.

This movie is a disgrace and to be quite frank, a slap in the face to the book series fandom. Based on this film and the previous I would even go as far to say they were intentionally made to not only make fun of but completely dismantle the entire series itself.

Save your money. If you wish to see how the films should have been done I recommend reading the books. They contain much different storylines that are worth telling. It's a shame that time and effort was actually put into this as what seems to be nothing more than a joke when it could have been done well.

Giving this a 2 is a kindness which is mostly for a few of the actors whom I respect.