Una boda y otros desastres

Ah, "Beautiful Wedding" (2024), a cinematic adventure where Abby and Travis accidentally marry in Vegas and think, "Why not honeymoon in Mexico?" sounds like the kind of movie you'd invent to win a bet on making the most predictable rom-com ever. Yet, here it is, in all its glory, demanding that we sit through nearly two hours of what could only be described as a series of unfortunate events that make you wish they had annulled the movie along with the marriage.

First off, the chemistry between Abby and Travis is as convincing as a tofu steak at a barbecue. Their attempts at romantic banter feel more like awkward exchanges between strangers who've been forced to share a cab. The supporting cast of friends and family are intended to add spice and laughter but instead come off like they wandered in from a different, possibly more interesting movie set. Each gag lands with the subtlety of a brick, and the slapstick scenarios are as fresh as last week's guacamole.

By the time the plot drags us to the picturesque beaches of Mexico, you hope for some redemption or maybe a beautiful scenic distraction. But no, the film doubles down on its commitment to mediocrity with a series of predictable misunderstandings and reconciliations that feel as though they were scripted by a chatbot programmed to churn out clichés. "Beautiful Wedding" tries to be a feast of fun and fails spectacularly, serving up nothing but reheated leftovers from better movies. One and a half stars, and even that feels like a wedding gift.

I loved the first movie, but damn, Africa, what happened? There's not even any romance (which the first one had while being silly); instead it is like a three stooges episode the entire time. I feel bad for Virginia Gardner and Dylan Sprouse why must have been locked into a contract. I also feel really bad for the actual author who I'm sure wrote a way better book than this is.

I have no idea if I will be able to make it through the last thirty minutes of this, just like I have no idea how to add two hundred more words to this review.

I saved this movie to watch specifically when I was drunk, and not even that helped. It is really THAT bad. Save yourself.

This follows Beautiful Disaster (2023) and its closing credits slide show. Abby Abernathy (Virginia Gardner) and Travis Maddox (Dylan Sprouse) are in Vegas with their friends America (Libe Barer) and Shepley (Austin North). They wake up shocked to find a load of cash and that Abby and Travis had gotten married. The foursome goes on the run to a Mexican resort and escape from Benny (Rob Estes) looking to get paid.

I really like the two lead actors. The first movie isn't much. I wish I liked it, but I could not abide by the slap-dashed attempts at broad humor. This movie tries even harder, and they still don't have that comedic sidekick. It's a struggle. First, I didn't remember a lot of the first movie. I had forgotten all together that she played poker. I blocked the last half of the movie after the hand job. In a way, I blocked the last half of this movie after all the boobs. What can I say? Those are the most memorable moments and they aren't that funny. Let's hope that there are no more books to turn into movies.

While the production quality of this film is high, its shortcomings are glaring. This supposed comedy flick fails to deliver on every front. With zero storyline and no character depth, it's a disappointment from start to finish. The humor in this film feels incredibly forced, and the storyline lacks a clear direction, making it difficult to follow. None of the scenes manage to elicit even a chuckle, with the comedy falling flat at every turn. Instead of genuine wit, viewers are subjected to a barrage of cheap jokes that do little more than pad out the movie's runtime One viewing is more than enough to realize this film's lack of substance and entertainment value. The first movie was better than this one, but this will just make your head scratch.

This film is hilariously over-the-top to the point where it's almost a satirical look at the genre altogether. The first 15 minutes were fun with the "oh no, we got married" plot and introducing some more serious themes. But at almost exactly 20 minutes, everything goes downhill. The director chose to insert animations, make the characters unlikable, and camera angles that were abhorrent.

The writing is so grotesquely clunky that it's a wonder it was ever greenlit by production at all. Then you remember it's low budget and realize they though they could make a blockbuster out of pennies. They cannot.

The film isn't all bad. Sprouse's comedic timing and line delivery (even if the lines are terrible) is the saving grace of an otherwise over-the-top film. If you can detach yourself completely from a cohesive storyline, believable lines, and hyper-sexualized female lead, the film is...okay. It's fun and light, but doesn't come close to matching the bantering fun of the first film. You can tell it was written by a man whose peak humor is in sock puppets and Adam Sandler films.

For book fans...Just skip it altogether. If you need something to play in the background or critique for a film class, this is perfect.