Hurry Up Tomorrow: Más allá de los reflectores

I honestly thought The Weeknd had hit rock bottom with The Idol, but this movie proved me wrong. I went in with low expectations, and it still managed to disappoint me on every level. This isn't a film - it's an overlong, pretentious disaster masquerading as art.

About 60% of the runtime feels like a glorified music video, 30% is pointless, dragged-out dialogue, and the remaining 10% is the camera spinning in circles like someone just discovered how a gimbal works. And The Weeknd? He plays himself - crying, sweating, sulking - in literally every single scene. I swear he made this movie just to show he can cry on camera. Mission accomplished, I guess.

Jenna Ortega is a great actress, but here she's completely wasted. She spends most of her time dancing to his songs, giving cringe "Genius lyric breakdown" speeches while he's tied to a bed. Yes, that's not a metaphor. That actually happens.

The film desperately wants to be deep and meaningful - a psychological journey, maybe even a metaphor for regret and fame - but it ends up being shallow, incoherent, and unintentionally hilarious. There's a viral clip where The Weeknd yells, "Shut the f** up, God!"* in the flattest delivery I've ever heard. It honestly feels like they just used the first take and called it a day.

I started taking notes halfway through. That's how bad it got. I won't even bother with spoiler warnings - you can't spoil garbage. Trash is trash.

The only joy I got was seeing people actually walk out of the theater during the second act. That gave me a weird sense of solidarity.

Bottom line: If you're not a diehard Weeknd fan who's willing to defend anything he does, don't waste your time. Unless you want to experience what it feels like to get emotionally bludgeoned for two hours by a weeping pop star - then by all means, go ahead.

This movie contains numerous spinning camera angles and a soundtrack that tries to imitate the Bladerunner 2049 at times. From the opening scene where the song went on a lot longer than it really should have, I already had a sinking feeling about the movie. Thirty minutes later and almost nothing about the plot has been revealed. Heck, Jenny Ortega hasn't even spoken a single word. What a complete waste of time. This movie tries way too hard to be surreal and it completely failed to do anything to make me care about any of the characters. What is this movie trying to achieve? I honestly have no idea.

The title Hurry Up Tomorrow is incredibly appropriate-because the entire time I was watching it, I just wanted it to hurry up and end. Calling this a "film" is generous; surviving it felt more like a cinematic endurance test.

The plot is laughably shallow, padded with so much pointless fluff that the pacing is downright painful. Abel Tesfaye, a.k.a. The Weeknd, essentially plays himself-and not well. His acting is so stiff, it's almost impressive. Sharing scenes with Jenna Ortega only makes it worse; she effortlessly outshines him at every turn, making his performance look like a high school drama rehearsal.

To make matters worse, the whole movie is drenched in ego. There's a scene-I'm not making this up-where Jenna's character actually analyzes the deep themes of his music. It tries to present itself as some kind of profound artistic statement, but really, it's just a 100-minute commercial for his new album.

Abel, please-stick to your day job.

What a waste of time that was. Self-indulgent storyline with plugs for the latest songs. The last 15 minutes appear to have come from a different movie and are completely nonsensical. The earlier part is a major snoozefest with shaky camera work and repetition. Not sure how this was ever greenlight but presumably due to star power. At some point during the movie, someone says to Abel that he should avoid acting and stick to what he does best. Shame he did not follow the advice - that would have saved everyone their time and money. It looks like it will bomb in the box office which is understandable. Avoid.

A soft 5/10. Abel Tesfaye's Hurry Up Tomorrow flirts with greatness but gets caught in its own spin, literally. The overused spinning camera becomes more distracting than dynamic and pulls from an otherwise intimate movie that gradually finds its own rhythm. The small cast works well and the slow-burn structure kept me guessing what kind of movie it really was until it clicked into place. It tries a little too hard to feel surreal and there's definitely some ego stroking going on by The Weekend. A few memorable moments.. It's Trey Edward Shults and feels like it. It's ambitious, uneven, and intriguing.