Crackcoon

It's like Tommy Wiseau and Neil Breen were kidnapped by Somali pirates where they were shown deliverance and cocaine bear on repeat, fed only chicken wings and Mountain Dew code red. They were going to be sold to Nick Cage to produce trash films for him to star in. As usual Nick blew his money and so they had to release Tommy and Neil back into the wild.

This film is the first step in their long recovery from the trauma they endured which projects itself as a drug addicted trash panda killing a disjointed cast of rando bus stop people.

I really hope they get the help they need because this film was somehow more boring than anything else they made.

This is one of those films that overall is pretty bad. I'm NOT suggesting anyone watch this expecting a decent film. It's a pretty horrible film.

But it's so bad.. it may be worth a watch.

Acting across the board is very sub-par, except for the unhappy wife wanting to go to Florida. She could act.

The worst actor in this is the puppet used for the raccoon. So, yeah, its a puppet.. clearly. Not an animatronic or CGI-generated.. a puppet on someone's hand that has as much expression as one would expect. Actually, I'm not even sure it's a puppet.. it may have been a stuffed animal glued to a stick so they could shake it. But that all lends to the comedically bad nature of the film.

The storyline is rather straightforward, and, well, the film title gives it away. It's just a basic slasher flick with an animal.

Has it's fair share of comedic lines, unfortunately the acting is so bad the comedy is often delivered poorly. But it is what it is. It's over-the-top..

The first bit is a tough watch. Just really, really, bad acting... But eventually the old-school sex and violence kick in... along with too much fake blood.. that's what makes it so bad it's worth watching.

To be clear... this film is BAD, really BAD... but it's so bad you may enjoy it if you are sick of the "universes" with their overly glossy CGI-based formulaic comic book stories.

From the outset, the screenplay, direction, cinematography, and overall production felt painfully low-budget and reminiscent of D-list horrors. The film was so excruciating to sit through, it ranks among the most grotesque and nonsensical I've ever encountered. I was genuinely shocked by how poorly directed this film was.

Now, about the raccoon: it resembled a bizarre cross between an animatronic and a stuffed toy gone rogue. When it lunged at its victims, it looked like a prop pulled from a discount store. The attempts to create a terrifying creature fell flat, and the moments where they resorted to CGI were laughably bad. It was as if they had a limited budget and decided to throw together whatever they could find.

Could best be described as a white exploitation film. No fear factor supplied by mediocre characters. Perhaps some acting classes and a non bubble gum budget could have made this film tolerable. The ratty assed racoon looked like it was designed by blind highschool children. The nude scenes couldn't save this one. The opening scene cuts to inexplicable morgue scene. The portrayal of the gay men was lame. I gave one star for the sheriff's wife's boobs. The best thing about the movie is that it ended. I am praying to the movie gods that there will not be a sequel. Mankind has suffered enough misery.

I definitely was not expecting much when I rented this film off of YouTube. I went to the matinee on the day that Cocaine Bear opened, so I consider myself an expert in films like this. The first 30 to 40 minutes were uneventful.

But once the killing started there were many memorable moments that will stick with you, and for that alone makes this film, head and shoulders above many other films including other genres, too.

The raccoon was so awesomely scrappy looking without going in the detail, I just loved the over the top everything towards the end. And the gratuitous nude scenes, which is exactly where gratuitous nothing more we're great!