Ice Road: Vengeance

This is the type of stuff that made all the rounds of Cinemax, HBO, Showtime... and the second tier movie theaters back in the 80's. The early to mid 80's really... and I absloutely ate them up. Yes they were terrible... you don't realize just how bad until you try and rewatch them as an adult.

Bad plots, some mediocre acting and dialogue... completely unreal situations. It has it all! And just like back then, I enjoyed it for the most part.

I would never bother to watch it again, it really doesn't have anything that would get me to do that. Back when I was a teen, they just showed the same movies multiple times a week... you watched out of sheer boredom at nothing else being available.

They really pushed the "bad " French woman... all 5'1" of her! She reminded me of "Grumpy Cat" on the internet! I have no problem believing a woman can be dangerous, but not weighing 90 lbs and fighting a 6'4" 220lb guy...even if he is ancient.

So, let's not talk about the story - you already know what you're getting. "He will hunt them down" is back in business.

The plot is solid but offers no surprises. And that's a shame, because surprise is often what separates a good movie from a mediocre one.

The CGI, however, feels like it's from another planet - and not in a good way.

That planet is cheap and artificial. Take the CGI bus, for example: it's empty, even though it should be full of passengers. The scenes with falling cars look low-budget, and at times it seems like they didn't even film in Nepal - just in front of green or blue screens. The lighting was also off in several scenes.

In the end, the film didn't entertain me. It mostly screamed "bad CGI" again and again.

What a shame.

Well, to its credit, they don't waste a huge amount of time on the 'plot', such that it is. Everything just kind of falls into place and all the stock characters kind of unquestioningly go along with the nonsense that ensues.

Trouble is though that even the action sequences are jaded, cliched, predictable and of course, ridiculous. Despite this, Neeson handles it all with his usual stoic sincerity (which I guess is why they keep hiring him for these straight-to-video type thrillers) but I think it's asking a lot for him to be the centre, all four edges and the filling of this flick; with little if any help from an uncharismatic supporting cast of nobodys who will likely never be seen again.

The production is also nothing to get excited about with a low-rent look, sub-par visual effects and an ineffective generic soundtrack.

It's all a very long way from Oskar Schindler and Qui-Gon, but I wouldn't want to call this his lowest point because the old boy is still churning them out, and who knows, it could get even worse. If you have a terrible action movie to pitch, give his agent a call.

An attempt to shoot a B-movie? It makes no sense for Liam Neeson to want to be remembered for such bad films, but if he keeps making them, I guess this is how he'll be remembered! Once again, we're subjected to an extremely weak script and the 'White Savior' trope being shoved in our faces. The same old conflict with greedy power brokers and forced, unconvincing scenes.

Lifeless Action and Flimsy Logic: Illogical character choices, poor pacing, and fight scenes devoid of impact-sometimes unintentionally making the film's tone comedic.

Aging Action Star Syndrome: Neeson clearly wants to prove he's still formidable, but he no longer has the agility needed for believable fight scenes against younger opponents.

Overall, a waste of time! With one exception: the breathtaking visuals of Nepal's countryside... But hey, it's not even shot in Nepal!

I love Liam Neeson, even his rehular predictable fare after Taken 1 and 2. Here he growls his way through another revenge mission, this time set against the stunning backdrop of the Himalayas. But Ice Road Vengeance barely escapes the avalanche of its own clichés.

The plot: a frozen road, some dodgy mining conspiracies, a dead relative (naturally), and a long drive toward payback. It wants to be Taken on Ice, but ends up somewhere between a forgettable TV movie and a rejected episode of Ice Road Truckers: Nepal Edition.

The real letdown? The glaring lack of authenticity. Nepali politicians speaking English in a speech to the local crowd, not a single notable local actor in the main cast, and cultural details that feel as deep as a Lonely Planet summary. It's Hollywood exoticism on autopilot... all scenery, no substance.

That said, the cinematography deserves credit. The icy roads and mountain vistas are easily the film's best performers. But even Neeson's stoic charm can't steer this one out of the ditch.

Verdict: A missed opportunity: half-hearted action, surface-level storytelling, and a setting wasted on stereotypes. Watch only if you're stuck indoors with bad Wi-Fi and no popcorn left.

5/10.