Bad CGI Gator

12th opus in Danny Draven´s directing career, filled with naive irony and parody/self-parody as the typically misguided B-movie spoof is, but instead of falling face first into the routinary trappings of "self-aware" comedies (that are everything but that) this one creates a schizophrenic and bland pseudo-satire of the genre with more formal considerations than usual, less malicious than Brett Kelly with his sardonic sharks, but still delivering blows to every stereotype, convention and trope of the genre. In the end, this is still a satire that lacks focus and a concrete objective that can give it a sense.

Featuring goofy and telegraphed comedy that comes out of a decidedly malnourished and elemental script done with intentional simplicity, with the nauseatingly stereotypical characters that parody the ones from the industrial horror movie formula. You can trace back the evolution of the subgenre as far back as the italian Jaws rip off Killer Crocodile (1989) with it´s lethargic anti-adventure, going through Lake Placid (1999) with winks that demolished the fourth wall and a comedic tone, but perhaps the heaviest influence is Tobe Hooper´s schlock flick Crocodile (2000), taking the concept of giving the main killer animal a richer personality than it´s human leads, while expanding upon the genre game Hooper played with by exaggerating the defects of the way of representing the animal on screen, stretching it's inverisimilitude to cartoonish levels. If Tobe made his Crocodile crash through walls then Draven made his Gator ring the doorbell. The film is filled with touches like these, such as when the Gator levitates via his special effects superpowers and eats a jock. Images that undoubtedly tickled the fancy of a master of surreal fantasy like Charles Band.

Speaking of Band, this movie finally goes after the overabundance of CGI in mainstream cinema (and why not, in productions by competing low budget companies too) he often complains about. However, it comes off as half baked, every solid attempt at creativity is dulled by a wonky pace and an off beat tone. It only slightly uses irony to satirize the state of popular cinema but one could argue that Asylum and other companies with their outlandish mockbusters are already Hollywood's biggest parody makers, making Bad CGI Gator a graceless deviation in the Full Moon catalog.

Six thirty year old college students go on spring break to a run down isolated cabin in a swamp. Who wouldn't want that experience? They must have booked the cabin a year in advance to get such a great place. Not understanding that spring break isn't the end of the semester, these future student loan debt relief recipients toss their school laptops into the swamp. A crocodile still recovering from shock that anyone would willingly occupy that cabin gets zapped by the shorting out laptop batteries and is magically transformed in a genuinely bad CGI rendering.

The bad CGI crocodile is bad, really bad, yet miles better than the acting. It's indescribably bad. Exceeded only by the dialog. It's indescribably indescribably bad. Ten stars for the crocodile. Minus five stars for the crocodile taking so long to do the audience wants in eliminating the cast. The longest hour you will spend being "entertained". Five stars.

The makers of this movie clearly didn't have enough of a budget to make a convincing monster. But when it's a monster movie, that's kind of a problem. Even if they might have successfully hidden the bad special effects or pooh-poohed it away once or twice, that still wouldn't have been enough. So the film makers just embraced it and wrote the plot of the entire movie around it. You see, this isn't just a poorly constructed monster, it's a tiny alligator that experienced a bunch of short-circuiting school laptops and becomes... Bad CGI Gator. So the CGI is bad, the plot is winking at you bad, and the characters are bad and irredeemably stupid. That's not to say that the acting is bad. The actors do a good job of making characters who are over the top idiots, even for a horror movie, seem realistic. There's a guy who calls himself an alpha male who is just a weak bully, a woman who makes the most bland social media content (and tahini dip) ever, a couple that is sex crazed but not in a healthy way, a stereotypical nerd who acts like a creep and kind of wants to see most everyone die, and the sort-of good girl who thinks that a guy being creepy is flattering and could have saved someone from the gator but is so self-absorbed that she keeps forgetting that the other person even exists. Face it, all of these characters are bad people. There are just a few who are less bad than the others. And that -- and the ridiculousness of a gator who defies reality -- is what makes the film entertaining.

This was a movie that I got the chance to see thanks to Laura from Scandal Coactive. This was a Full Moon film that when I saw the title, I knew this was going to be outrageous. Without watching this, I had a feeling this would be in line with the modern Full Moon films, which I'm not always the biggest fan of. I'm still shocked that I got the chance to review movies from this company so I jumped on the chance.

Synopsis: six college students get a cabin in the swamplands of Georgia. They decide to throw their school laptops in a nearby lake in an act of youthful defiance, which unknowingly turns an alligator into a dreaded and insatiable CGI creature.

We start this off with Jim (Lee Fealy) seeing a sign about not fishing in this lake. He ignores it, pulling it out of the ground and dropping it in the water. The reason is that there is an alligator living here. He sees the animal and it's not big. He makes a comment about it needing to get bigger.

It is then that we meet our group of characters. They are coming to Chad's (Ben VanderMey) uncle's cabin. With him is his best friend, Pearce (Cooper Drippe) and his stepsister Hope (Maddie Lane). Chad and she do not get along. It was Hope's mother wanting them to be friends so she was pushed to come. Chad also brings his girlfriend, Sarah (Rebecca Stoughton). She is best friends with Pearce's girlfriend of Paisley (Sarah Buchanan). Also with them is Sam (Michael Bonini). He is bullied by the group, but he has a crush on Hope.

Paisley and Sarah want to be influencers. They don't bring much to the table in sticking out with their content. It is generic. Them along with Chad and Pearce are 'typical Gen-Z' and annoying. Sam wants to fit in, but he's a nice guy. Hope is also different from the rest of the group.

As the synopsis said, Sarah comes up with an idea of tossing all their laptops in the lake for a TikTok. Sam doesn't want to do this as he has short stories he's written on his, but he succumbs to peer pressure. Hope refuses. The batteries from the computers create an electrical current that changes this alligator into a large monster. It can also now float. It traps our group in the cabin and picks them off one by one.

That is where I'll leave my recap and introduction to the characters. Where I'll start is that runs under an hour long. We don't get much in the way of character development, but we also don't need this. This gives us enough set up until the alligator gets changed. It is from there that our characters are then killed off until the climax.

Now that I've given that, this is a comedy first. This is also a movie that we are meant to dislike all the characters except for Hope and Sam. She is the most 'normal' woman of the group and thinks for herself. Sam wants to fit in with the jocks, but the more we see how he is treated, that might not be the case. This feels like a throwback to the 1980s, just using modern slang for Pearce, Chad, Paisley and Sarah. They feel like stereotypical jerks. It makes sense why we're rooting for the monster.

I did want to then pull in the acting here. Despite my not liking most of the cast, they do what they're supposed to for their characters. Buchanan, Stoughton, VanderMey and Drippe are all good looking. They fit the characters they're supposed to be. They also get a response out of me which is what I ask for when it comes to acting so this is well done. If I was going to blame anything, it would be the writing to not give them any depth. This is supposed to be a popcorn movie so it is fine. I thought that Lane and Bonini are solid though as our heroes. Fealy is also fine in his minor role. If anything, I wish they would have brought him back in the end. Not a major issue though, it would just be a fitting way to end it.

There isn't more to say about the story or acting so let's finish with filmmaking. If you couldn't tell from the title, the alligator is all CGI. It adds to the comedy, I'll give it that. My problem though is that this is trying to intentionally be a bad movie. I'm not a fan of that. I know there are those that are. I'm not the target audience. I did think that the practical aftereffects of attacks was solid. The cinematography was fine. I did love the setting. It is also funny that the cabin is owned by the type of person that it is. That adds comedy there and makes sense with the weapons they find. Other than that, the soundtrack was fine. It did fit with the vibe of the movie.

In conclusion, this is a fun, low budget shut off your brain type movie. This leans into being absurd. I did think that this was fine in the sense that we have a group of mostly unlikable characters to kill off. The CGI here is intentionally bad. The bright spot would be the setting and the cinematography there. I'm not the target audience though. If you want a movie that is bad on purpose, I'd recommend this especially with friends and drinks. This also feels in line with today's Full Moon films.

My Rating: 3.5 out of 10.

It lives up to its title with the absolutely worst CGI, I have ever seen in my lifey, progressively worsening in each scene. The deliberate horridness of the effects becomes a bizarre delight.

The characters are intentionally unlikable, ensuring a guilt-free thrill as they fall prey to the PS1 Lara Croft's worst nightmare.

Dark humor is top notch and sticks around to the very last moments.

However, the anticlimactic ending left me disappointed. While the whole movie is built upon cheese, taking "so bad it's good" to its ultimate form, the boring conclusion feels like "so bad it's just bad".