The Painter

Within the first 20 minutes of the start, I was thinking ,this would be a much better movie with better actors. Cases in point, Charlie Weber, Marie Avgeropoulos, and Leah Gibson (maybe not quite as bad as the others). No real emotion or even inflection when they're speaking. There were bright spots...Madison Bailey with the emotion and timing, very believable. And Max Montesi with the crazy, VERY BELIEVABLE. As highly predictable as the movie is, it is fast moving with decent action throughout, thank goodness. I don't know that I would actually recommend The Painter, but I did watch it to the end.

Aside from this being nothing new or original, it's a poorly written and directed effort with corny dialogue and laughable action scenes.

In the early stages, we are meant to believe that a criminal of some importance has a security team made entirely of imbeciles that can't fight. They're so bad in fact, that a single man who moves slowly can defeat them all. Perhaps part of the reason for this is that, when one of the bodyguards is fighting with the hero, all the others become paralysed and only regain the ability to move when it's their turn to throw a punch 3 yards from his head. Throw in the odd embarrassingly bad commando roll that wouldn't look out of place in a 4 year olds gymnastics class and there you have it.

But that isn't all this cinematic masterpiece has to offer. No, it also has highly trained operators armed with assault rifles that couldn't hit a barn from 5 yards away. If those are the people that are meant to keep us safe, then we are doomed as a child with a catapult would make a more effective fighting force.

Finally, we come to the twist and the last bit of dialogue, which is delivered with all the emotional intensity of someone reading their gas bill out loud.

Consider this my favour to you - I have watched it so that you don't have to.

Jon Voigt plays the predictable guy you love to hate. Voigt was the reason I wanted to watch this movie but sadly this movie was so incredibly lame. I wish I had read the other reviews before watching it. The fight scenes were so choreographed it was pathetic. The guy who plays the ghost was so weird. Marie Avgeropoulos's acting was so unnatural. You could tell she's trying to act like such a bad person but the plot with her character was weak. Her acting drove me nuts. In fact the overall plot for the movie was lame and weak. I think Madison Bailey's performance was decent. Don't watch this movie. It's an hour and 45 minutes you won't get back.

I think this might be the first time I could be bothered to write a review but...did it pass the time and I kind of followed what was happening? Yes. Was it enjoyable? No. This is what I imagine AI would spit out, direct and costume design (the set design and even cinematography were not bad tbf). There was nothing original in this film plot, but it wasn't satire or parody or even ironic, and it was INCREDIBLY moronic (at one point a computer virus in a flash drive goes up....in flames....). It was awful, but not so disruptively bad for the evening which I gave away to other tasks that I turned it off (there are your 2 stars), but somehow annoying and predictable enough to also be distracting -- and to make me write this review. Don't watch it. It's not bewildering, it's just bad.

I think a few days ago this piece of stink was rated around 8 stars. What nonsense, this is barely a movie. I don't think there was a script. I think everyone kind of figured it out as the shooting of the film progressed. It's so badly made. I'll make a point to look this director up so I can avoid wasting more time in the future. Dude has a future with Asylum doing Transmorpher sequels. The lead actor can't act, even when he doesn't have to say anything. He can't act hurt, injured, upset, sane, or anything. From his face, you'd think he had no clue he was in a movie until after the premier. It's bad guys. Watch something else. This is almost a Neil Breen movie. I guess if I watched it with friends, it would be one of those so bad it's good movie. Critical redundancy :'(