Psychological Something-ism

Brian: Admit it - you don't know me anymore or anything about my life.

Jimmy: No, because it's not true!

Brian: Okay. What's my husband do for a living?

Jimmy: [Brief pause] I do not like to reduce people to their occupations. It's something... handsome. Fine. How old is Alice?

Brian: Age is just a number.

Jimmy: What's the number?

Brian: Thirteen. Eighteen. Sixteen. Fifteen... Stop me when I'm right!

Jimmy: Then say them in order!

Brian: Okay. What's my sign?

Jimmy: Capri... quarius.

Brian: Yes. I'm a Capriquarius. Nailed it.

Jimmy: Who are Alice's godparents?

Brian: Gaby. And that druggie she was married to.

Jimmy: *You*, Brian. You're her godfather.

Brian: Fuck. I owe her some gifts. Okay, how about a recent one? What have I been saying over and over again was the best part of my honeymoon?

Jimmy: All the fucking.

Brian: That was too easy!