Alien: Rubicon

I will usually give a movie 20-30 minutes and that was a challenge with this one. I started it based on the Glamour Shots preview and if cream rises to the top this sunk quick. The B budget acting didn't have a chance with the cheesy script. I've seen four or five of these actors in other things and they did a lot better given the tools they had in those movies. This one just needed to be cleaned up from every corner because it had a decent story to be based on. In theory this story has been told multiple times but they did have a different twist with Rubicon. Overall it was a huge strike out.

I've enjoyed some of The Asylum's movies and have to admit their special effects have gotten better. Many times their movies fall into the so bad and ridiculous they are great category, but unfortunately this is not one of them. For all it's OK effects, 99% of this movie is just actors standing around in a room talking about the action. If you've seen the trailer you have seen the entire minute of good stuff in this fiasco. As usual there is some LOL absurd dialogue but not enough to make this enjoyable. While watching this and being bored by it I did wonder what these actors do when they get a call telling them they got the part in a movie from The Asylum ? Cry ? Laugh and curse fate ? Wonder how they're going to spend the $45 paycheck ? Not worth watching.

It doesn't get any worse than this, who writes this crap? Talk about a predictable premise/ Aliens attack a major city instead of a location with little defense. Cheap production values all round with even worse acting. It is ridiculous that these 4 legged aliens could fly these spaceships let alone build them. They have three sets, some cheap White House room set, the inside of a fake helicopter and the inside of the family kitchen with everything else cheap CGI graphics. If you haven't yet wasted your time watching this trash please be advised you will definitely be disappointed that you did.

That headline-question is always the last silly line of defense for an otherwise indefensible piece of garbage.

But in this case, the truth is: YES! Easily!

I bet every third person on earth could do better than this. There is no tension, no build up, no basic understanding of storytelling mechanisms at all. It is just 2,5 boring sets where the same five boring characters have stiff, unorganic dialog about a crisis that never feels like anything, because this is the reverse of "show, don't tell!" - all this movie does is tell, and poorly so. It's not even funny bad, not campy in an amusing way. It is just poor. If you want to look at something extremely poor and low effort for 90 minutes this is THE movie for you. Everyone else, stay clear! There is absolutely no entertainment to be had here.

Don't waste your time watching this... Bad script, bad acting (really bad), bad CGI. What more could you ask for?

I could only stomach this for 10 minutes, then bailed on it.

Never saw the Alien. Never saw the Rubicon.

I went back and re-watched "Aliens" just to get the taste of this thing out of my head.

Don't get it confused with Alien: Romulus which might be a better flick.

This movie should be up for a Grand Prize in this year's Golden Raspberry Awards.

I wouldn't be surprised if it swept those awards and took home a bushel of raspberries.

It's that bad. Honest.

Take a nap instead of watching this, it will be time better spent.