Warlord

Who is this made for? I watched the entire first 30 minutes and still have no clue what this is about. Fantasy movie only in name and costumes. All they do is talk. Boring as boring can be. If you have children be careful, there is a scene where a guy is running in the woods naked and his privates are clearly outlined as he prances around. Bizarre. He gets caqptured, castrated and tar and feathered by the elves. Adds nothing to the movie except more disgust and makes no sense. This is not a spoiler, there is nothing here to spoil. I think that is the main action scene in this bore fest.

Listen, I adore Lord of Rings, most fantasy tv shows, and cut them a lot of slack. I forgive much. I am a fantasy geek hardcore. But this thing is not a proper movie. Not even a proper play. Every high school play is better than this. Maybe it was crowd funded? I want my half hour back.

I did fast forward to make sure there were no later scenes to redeem it. But no, zero.

Warlord is one of those movies that really pulls you in and doesn't let go. The story feels fresh but familiar in the best way, and the world-building is seriously impressive. I especially liked the use of magic, not too much, but just enough.

The performances are strong across the board, and the visuals have this gritty, lived-in feel that makes everything more real.

The pacing is tight too - it always feels like something important is about to happen, and you're just glued to it. You can tell a lot of care went into every part of it, from the costumes to the music. Definitely worth checking out if you like smart, grounded fantasy.

If you're expecting some Spiderman action, this is obviously an indie and you can see they worked with what they had. Which they did really well.

The acting in this low budget fantasy film is quite good. Not surprising when you have actors such as Billy Boyd and Aliona Baranova, Jennifer English, and Devora Wilde of Baldur's Gate 3 fame. The direction, makeup, and costuming departments leave a lot to be desired. The editing and scene direction is atrocious. It's disjointed and awkward with some shots croping the focal actor out of the frame. Some of the makeup looks like it was applied by someone's kid sister with unblended eyeshadow and liners and elf ears that are sometimes blended to the actor's actual ear and sometimes not. The costuming has a few nice pieces but wow, that foam armor is absolutely terrible. It looks like someone's first attempt at making cosplay foam armor and they didn't read the rest of the tutorial on how to finish the look.

Overall, I can see the potential this film could have had but it sadly missed the mark mainly due to direction, editing, and poor makeup/costuming choices.

The Good News: The cinematography and acting are decent. Too bad you don't see a fantasy movie for the acting.

The plot is boringly xenophobic and the usual anti-authority: The elves and humans don't get along, with the humans holding all of the cards and the elves being exiled to the woods. The sheriff is right from the Stock Evil collection: He's running roughshod over the local population while forcefully taking control of the bakeries and forcing others into the mines.

In other words, nothing you really haven't seen before. Adding to the fun is the usual over-the-top violence.

Then there's the ending, which isn't exactly your feel-good ending, which comes from nowhere. It's nice that the bad guys get punished, but only by making the chasm between elves and humans even deeper. It's the sole surprise in the movie.

All told, there is a surprise ending to the movie, but it's unlikely most people would last past the first twenty minutes. There's a lot of scenery chewing, but it doesn't really add to the movie and most of it has no payoff. You can miss this movie with little worry of missing anything important.

What in the hell did I just watch? I'm sat stunned by the sheer audacity that people are responsible for churning this plate of utter crap out. I've no idea of what actually went on because it makes no sense. Nothing really happens. It's just a complete waste of time and effort.

I love a good fantasy film but this is fantasy for the wrong reason. They've obviously fantasised that anyone would be slightly interested in watching such drivel.

The acting is terrible. The settings are done in some park woodland. The script and story are just all over the place. This is just so bad on all levels. Charges should be brought against all those involved in it.