Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey?!

As predicted, ten minutes in and I could take it no longer. And then I read the synopsis and was so glad I didn't bother. I've never been a huge fan of Clunes and having somehow suffered through Nativity 1&2, I am definitely not a fan of the jack@ss known as Mr Poppy. Finding out that it is a film about Martin losing his memory only made it clearer in my mind that I must never, ever watch this film.

It's a shame to see the gorgeous Adam Garcia involved. Looks like he'll do anything for money.

I can't score it, because I will NEVER finish it.

The first two Nativity films (especially the first one) have become family favourites, so it is no big surprise to see Debbie Issit trying to keep it going.

Unfortunately the franchise comes unstuck considerably with this third outing and really should have spelt the end of our trips to Saint Bernadettes.

From a very silly plot (even by 'Nativity' standards) to a miscast male/female lead (Martin Clunes and Catherine Tate), to some of the kids from the first film still making out they are in primary school when they are clearly of secondary age, this just doesn't work as well as the first two.

The problem with improvised films is that they are hit and miss, and this falls in the latter category more often that not. There are some very cringy moments here where clearly even the supporting actors (Ralf Little/Suzie Blake) are struggling to sell this.

Poor Marc Wooton has to carry this as Mr Poppy, as they rely even more so on him dressing up/doing silly voices etc to try to get this over the line. It's worth a watch just to see him, if nothing else.

The franchise took a break after this, before returning with an ill-advised soft reboot...that didn't work.

Absolutely terrible. Makes the original Nativity look like Citizen Cane. None of the characters are likable, the story makes absolutely zero sense and is, put simply, not entertaining. Do not subject yourself or your family to this abomination, and do not support the lazy cash grab that is this movie.

I went into this with high expectations after seeing the first two, and had no idea who the cast were (I expected the regular cast, David Tennant etc), and was surprised to see Martin Clunes (who plays the perfect dumb guy), and Catherine Tate who is always good in whatever role she decides to play.

For a Christmas movie, it's okay. The cinema was jam packed as it was opening weekend. I wasn't disappointed, nor was I pleased. There are some laughs and this is more a 'go and see it with your family' movie.

It wasn't as funny as the first two, but I came out with a bright smile on my face.

I had to sit through this dreck as I was staying at someone's house & they were sat in front of it like a potted plant. Not moving, not showing any visible signs of sentience but still watching it.

At one point she spoke up, "I think this is made for children."

At this point I lost my composure. "Made for children? It's made BY children and I hope they're ****ing orphans."