Ozzy appears on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as a performer. Kelly and Sharon come with Ozzy to the show, but Jack stays at home, watching a documentary about marijuana instead.
The dogs are ruining valuable furniture. The worst dog is Lola, a bulldog who belongs to Jack. Sharon threatens Jack she'll give Lola away. Jack says Lola is jealous because Kelly has bought a new cat into the house.
Ozzy releases his first solo album in six years. Ozzy and Sharon arrive at an in-store gig. Ozzy signs autograph sand takes photos with fans, including an entire squad of security guards.
The Osbournes have new neighbours, and they had been playing loud crappy music all night. Sharon confronts them and tells them to go in their "perfectly big house" to play their music. The neighbours refuse and Ozzy declares war.
Ozzy works with a personal trainer in prep for an upcoming tour. Sharon tells with a friend on the phone that the name of Ozzy's tour was going to be Black Christmas but was inappropriate because of 9/11, so they renamed it Merry Mayhem.
Ozzy mixes alcohol with pain meds for his leg injury and winds up stoned. He tries to take Lola for a walk, but Sharon sends Jack to retrieve him. They suffer through a miserable Thanksgiving. Ozzy adamantly refuses to wear a bat coat.
Jack invites his friend Jason Dill, a pro skateboarder, to stay at the house. Ozzy and Sharon are more than a little put off by the fact that Jack just lets Dill come over without telling them, let alone asking for permission.
The Osbournes are packing their stuff at the Peninsula Hotel in New York, when Sharon tells Ozzy and Jack that one of their tour truck drivers had an accident the other day.
Jack is shown walking around with a rifle and wearing army gear. Kelly complains that "15-year-old boys shouldn't be playing with rifles and knives" She brings up an old situation in which Jack shot Kelly with a pellet gun 6 years earlier.
Sharon and the dogs are in the backyard, Lola vomits on the grass and Ozzy tries to show off his knife-throwing skills by trying to throw knives into logs.
Sharon recuperates at the family's Malibu beach house while undergoing treatment for colon cancer. She vows to beat the disease and tries to maintain as normal a life as possible.
Kelly travels to Europe for a series of interviews and appearances. She is upset when her bag is lost (apparently seized by security because of concerns over her gun-shaped pin), leaving her without any extra clean underwear.
Sharon makes amends with her dad after not speaking to him for over 20 years. Kelly keeps getting drunk every night. Ozzy tries to warn her of the consequences as they can't protect her if she gets arrested for underage drinking.
Kelly recruits her friend Sarah to play the drums in her band. But Sarah has never had formal lessons and can't seem to keep up during rehearsals. Everyone becomes very frustrated and reaches the conclusion that Sarah must be replaced.
Kelly grows frustrated with all the appearances she must make as a recording artist. She yells and screams at everyone. Sharon sympathizes with her, noting that she just wants to be a teenager.
Ozzy grows increasingly tired of the dogs and their tendency to defecate in the house. Because Sharon's immune system is very weak due to the chemo, he fears that all of the germs will cause her to develop an infection.
Before heading to Vegas, Kelly discovers that she has been made to sign a contract with The Venetian Resort Hotel that clearly states that if anyone is seen to be drinking underage, they would all be thrown out of the hotel.
Sharon and Ozzy decide to renew their wedding vows at the Beverly Hills Hotel on New Year's Eve. Kelly is to serve as flower girl, with Jack and Robert as ushers.
