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It's been difficult for me to try and put my thoughts of this series into words because of how delicate of a subject it is for me. This was one of the most difficult series I've watched and it made me feel various emotions that i haven't been in touch with for a long time. I think attaching a number to this doesn't do it justice despite how strongly i like it, so I'll stick to writing out how i feel and go from there.

I was never as big of a fan of the movie 'a silent voice' as most people. Not because it was bad or anything, more so the way i felt watching the moments prior to the time skip. The bullying that occurred was intentionally forceful and over the top but without the depth of insight into the bullies life out of school (in comparison to this series) and the entire opening sequence left me out of it despite the strong themes explored for the rest of the movie.

I think the reason this story hit me like a train in comparison was due to the subtlety and dynamic of emotions through various point's of view. Takopi's pure oblivious heart, shizuka's hollowness, marina's toxicity and azuma's selflessness inflict many feelings that blend naturally and are all equally important to the plot in their own unique ways.

I was already uneasy throughout the first episode, but I've never felt lower while watching a series then watching the moment that transpired when shizuka asked takopi for the item while holding the collar. The sudden transition without any explanation to her being dirty and beaten up, without her dog chappy that gives her a reason to keep going, and the obliviousness of takopi as they talked and shizuka eventually walking away shattered me. Knowing the clear intention of where the story was going and seeing takopi sit there in an uneasy state, not understanding what's going on was one of the hardest things I've watched in a show. It wasn't what ultimately transpired as a result of these events, but collectively how they unfolded, the state of the characters and how their experiences framed the moment, the obvious implications of what was next and the subtle delivery that made me feel so strongly.

What makes this series standout is the character of marina. Her actions are motivated and not a product of the stereotypical bully with no further insight into their story which is prone to happen in other stories. There are instances of these bullies getting contextualized and exploring the root cause of their actions, but the way it's executed with marina is in my eyes the best portrayal of this type of character. Clearly none of her actions are intended to be justified, but rather give insight into what led to them. Hurt people are often victims of other hurt people who are victims to a cycle of pain that was originated by something far out of reach and out of their control, and that's a constant theme in life today for many families and individuals. Marina's story turns the show on it's head and leaves the audience with an ultimatum that's left for them to decide how they feel.

On the morning of august 1st i watched the first 5 episodes and was a wreck. I got busy and every time i considered watching the finale i got cold feet due to the idea of feeling how i felt again while initially watching. I wasn't in an awful place in life when i started watching, yet felt like a shell of myself and was questioning so many things during my first viewing. At the time I'm writing this, I'm in a much worse place after some of my own actions. I finished the final episode, and all I'm left with are my thoughts and feelings. I'm at a crossroads in my own life with so much uncertainty. I feel ways that are unjustified, and i can't stop second guessing myself and what i really want. I say all of this because i think the takeaway from takopi's original sin should be expression. Expression in the form of communicating with one another to reach a common goal of understanding. This mini-series made me uncomfortable and that's not a bad thing. In 6 episodes it accomplished so much and I'm grateful for the experience. I hope i can fill the void that I've put myself in, and if you feel the same way please keep moving forward and never give up. Thank you for reading, i hope you're doing well.