ZackJ-9

Saying this is a colossal failure is an understatement. If you're a casual viewer or a fan who just wants to get their money's worth, keep on reading because this is as real as it gets. No sugarcoating, no excuses.

You won't get your money's worth, plain and simple. It is a spit in the face, a cash grab, a lazy attempt at cinema. This movie takes place in an alternate universe (Earth 828) and after the first 10 minutes of the movie, you will realize that the only reason they made this movie (besides a cash grab) was so they could have an excuse to have The Fantastic Four characters in the upcoming Avengers movies.

Since the movie takes place in an alternate universe, from a viewer's perspective, it feels like intruding. You get thrown into this thing where there is little to no explanation (let alone ''show, don't tell'' practice) about what's happening, why it's happening and how it happened to begin with. ''The Fantastic Four'' already have their powers. Why? How? What circumstances? Where? All skipped. It's already done. Out the gate, as a viewer, you get robbed of the character growth, character journey (and joint character journey for that matter) and the entire process that makes you excited to get to know and love the characters which automatically makes it impossible to feel deeply for these characters or care about them in any meaningful way. There is no character growth in the movie either. They stay the same from start to finish. They're all already established people from the opening sequence. From a viewer's perspective, The Fantastic Four characters are like trust fund babies of movie characters. Their powers are not earned. Their personalities are not earned either (from a viewer's perspective). Not even their demeanors are earned or justified because we have no idea what made them the way they are.

The characters are outstandingly bland, completely and utterly forgettable, irrelevant. The plot somehow feels both rushed and dragged at the same time. The writers actually managed to merge not the best, but the worst of both worlds. The villain (and I guess we can call Shalla-Bal anti-hero/anti-villain?) are both completely unimpressive and equally bland as well. The choices that the characters make are questionable at best and in some cases, completely ridiculous (such as the ''master plan'' against Galactus that involved the baby). That's unfortunately what happens when you have less-than-the-smartest-people-alive attempt to write the character who is the supposed ''smartest man alive''. The acting is mediocre at best, forced, zero chemistry (and at some point oozing disinterest in their own acting). The visuals are okay, but the visuals don't really matter because the things that actually matter failed spectacularly. It's like watching a good looking singer who can't sing or perform and being there just to watch them look good instead of focusing on the fact that their music is horrible and their performance is laughable.

And how many writers it took to come up with this movie, you ask? Four or five! Four or five (or possibly more if uncredited) brains put together and THIS is what they managed to come up with? And it's not like they had a week to write this either. I mean, are you serious? Should we laugh or cry? What is this? How did we get here? Is it really like what Anthony Mackie said in an interview, that the movies today are made for 16 year olds and China? Because the rest of us who actually want to watch good, memorable movies (what used to be the case a long time ago) have to suffer because of those other people who are mesmerized by subpar mediocrity since they themselves are one dimensional and incapable of understanding, let alone appreciating, actual cinema.

If it's true that these bland characters from this movie are gonna be the ''main guys'' in the upcoming Avengers movies, then I don't even know what to say.

This movie felt like I've skipped at least 5 or 6 movies prior to this one. This was supposed to be the start of the DCU and it felt like a 7th movie in the DCU. The beginning of DCU, it was supposed to be like the beginning of the MCU. Look at the MCU beginning to the end of Phase 1. The gradual build-up. Each of the most prominent characters getting their own movies (such as Iron Man or Thor) and getting established properly as characters in those movies instead of having to share screen time with other prominent/most prominent heroes.

That's what Superman needed. Not sharing screen time with a Green Lantern, Mr. Terrific, Hawkgirl and Metamorpho when it was already known from the get-go it would be a challenge enough (time-wise) to establish Superman both as Superman and Clark Kent while also having to establish Lois Lane AND Lex Luthor as prominent characters who are here to stay. Cramming three other heroes (among other characters) in the debut Superman movie (the debut DC Universe for that matter!) was ridiculous in and of itself, but it's exponentially more ridiculous when you understand which characters were crammed in the movie.

You can't have Mr. Terrific appear in a Superman movie without having a solo Mr. Terrific movie first in which you establish who Mr. Terrific is because he's Mr. Terrific, one of the smartest people in the DC universe! You can't have Hawkgirl make an appearance in the movie of the most prominent character in your universe without first having a solo Hawkgirl movie in which you establish her as a character. And you most definitely can't have a Green Lantern (regardless of which Green Lantern it is) appear in a Superman movie without having a solo Green Lantern movie first in which you establish who, what and why a Green Lantern is.

All those characters should've had their own solo movies and should've been established as characters before being introduced in someone else's movie as cameo/guests. It makes no sense even for me who is a massive DC fan, let alone a casual viewer. What you did with this from a perspective of a casual viewer is, that viewer is gonna think that the Green Lantern is ''just some guy'' and that Hawkgirl is ''just some girl''. Imagine if in the first Iron Man movie in 2008, Steve Rogers and Wanda just showed up on screen as Captain America and Scarlet Witch. Like, out of the blue, ''Hello, we're Captain America and Scarlet Witch. How we came about doesn't matter. We skipped years of character journey and growth to just show up here for the sake of showing up.''. Are you out of your minds? That just doesn't work. Who Superman 1 in the DCU (especially at the start of the DCU) needed to have in the movie are Superman/Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Lex Luthor and one villain (my personal opinion, best for Superman 1 would've been Metallo working under Lex Luthor who would've served as a ''behind the scenes'' villain). No other heroes, no other villains, no nothing. Look at the Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League/Justice League Unlimited Animated Series. That's PEAK DC along with . Bring those writers in. Make that live-action. That's all you have to do. That's what DCU was supposed to be. That's what DCEU was supposed to be too. What you should've done for Phase 1 of DCU was Superman 1 (Superman+Lois+Lex+Villain), Batman 1 (Batman and the family+Alfred+Villain), Superman 2 (Introduce the Flash cameo+Lobo (expanded/richer/snowballed story of The Main Man episodes of Superman: The Animated Series), Wonder Woman (origin), Green Lantern (John Stewart origin), Hawkgirl (origin), a live-action World's Finest Batman/Superman team up movie adaptation and then the Justice League 1 (Live-action adaptation of the Secret Origins episodes from the Animated Series where they all come together+intro to Martian Manhunter and you're golden to move forward with Phase 2 from there.

It's not that difficult to get it right. Just stop experimenting, stop complicating things for no reason.