Alarmed

Alarmed otherwise known as Ghost Boat is one of existential messy horror films that you walk away from feeling like nothing really happened. Kind of like Dallas, watching an entire season then getting told huzzah that season was all a dream! Not a slap in the face to the viewer at all, no spoilers here though the issue isn't a "Dream" I simply use that comparison because of the way you are left feeling at the end.

The movie is criminally boring and plays out like a scyfy original but without the awful yet charming CGI.

After watching the film I went to my shed, pulled out paint tins and poured some onto the floor then sat comfortably and watched the paint dry. I can confirm that this was more exciting than Alarmed/Ghost Boat.

The fact that ants were drawn to the paint and held a bloody battle royale for the hand of the sweet maiden cockroach did make the comparison unfair but all the same I'd far rather watch Sir Anthony the ant run his rival Adam the ant through with a leaf stalk than 5 minutes more of that moronic drivel.

Now I'm all for nautical ghost stories, and when I saw the images for Ghost Boat my mind pictured Ghost Ship, a film not to everybody's taste I grant, but one I really like. Sadly they parallel in name only, what we get is a rather dull paranormal tale of a girl locked on a boat, forced to mutilate herself by an evil spirit that locks doors on boats. I think they tried to get a similar vibe to the one in Triangle (A classic in my opinion) but failed miserably, if I had to think of a word to sum it up, it would be forgettable, nothing particularly offensive, the plot and acting weren't great, but they weren't bad, it's just a film that did absolutely nothing for me. It would have had 4 stars, but loses one for the lazy and unforgivable ending. 'Oh it was only a ........'

Poor effort.

Tormented by a past tragedy, a woman joins a group of friends on her family's boat only to get stranded in open water and finds herself being forced into disfiguring herself day after day until she uncovers the truth about the trauma to get the situation to stop repeating.

This didn't offer up much for it. One of the main problems here is the fact that there's just not a whole lot of interest in what goes on with her traumatized condition. Despite it being set-up from the start as her having a kind of debilitating condition, nothing about what happens really makes it obvious that she really is and it just comes off as incredibly route and clichéd from the start. The fact that she's become quite flighty and jumpy doesn't really endear itself all that much into inducing fear, and the action of what's happening doesn't really mean anything because it's all so utterly hard to care about the events within. It builds to a mystery that's impossible to care about, takes forever to do so and tries to force these conclusions onto her that it just seems so convoluted and haphazardly done that there's nothing about it that draws any interest to what's going on. The supposed scares are weak and unconvincing and lead to such a wild conclusion that there's overall little appealing there, and with the repetitious nature of it all coming back around again and again it's impossible to generate tension from there, and frankly the only thing that really works here is the suggested brutality of the kills that end her day as what this implies her doing to herself get somewhat creepy at times. Overall, though, there's little about this one worth remembering.

Rated R: Graphic Violence and Graphic Language.

There's nothing about the story of this movie that makes sense, I mean, absolutely nothing.

The only thing that saves it are the two lead actors Jennifer Stuckert and Brian Rife that, considering the material they're given, are pretty good.

Oh, and the scary level is sub zero.

Just a very odd movie.

Fairly well acted B grade movie. Has a few interesting twists but not overly amazing.