Transformers: le réveil des bêtes

Well, it's about robots from outer space so just turn your brain off for maximum enjoyment. If you told me the script was AI-generated, I'd believe it.

But is it entertaining? Depends on your definition. If you want to see robots and humans hunting MacGuffins, clashing and brawling for their respective fates, painfully cringe dialog and jokes, and a predictable plot? Then yes, it's entertaining.

I'm a sucker for 90s hip-hop, so hearing Tribe and Wu-Tang was a pleasant surprise. I also appreciate the dynamic lighting and how the robots are integrated into their environments. They don't stick out too much or look odd.

Until they talk. Then most of the immersion goes right out the window. Nearly every robot-spoken word is delivered with the gusto of the movie trailer voiceover guy bellowing cliches like ancient creeds.

And yet, as the 3rd act progressed I found myself starting to be won over, almost like a case of Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe because I stopped thinking about it. Maybe the movie itself became a visual lobotomy.

I almost want to recommend this. Not because it's good, but because it's bad in ways that are endearing and sort of fun.

At no point did these characters pull me into this movie, there was just zero connection. I have no idea who any of them are! How is that possible for such a big franchise such as Transformers? Is this all they could find when casting? Mirage was the only entertaining character and carried the movie.

Also is it just me or did it feel like it took a long time for the movie to take off? I understand we need to develop characters but at times in the first part of the movie I forgot I was even watching a Transformers movie.

I felt like the CGI was a little overdone too. I feel like some parts the bots looked almost cartoonish compared to the grungy look from previous movies.

Well, after I left the theater I felt somehow lobotomized, numb and dead like a rock (well, maybe I'm wrong and stones are more alive than I realize). Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is one of those many examples that raise one question: where are the talents and the creative people these days? Certainly not too many are involved in the movie business - Rise of the Beasts got nothing that will raise it above the bar of barely acceptable: a dead boring story line, dead boring characters, and terrible dialogues we listened to one million times before. The special effects are somewhat okay, but, well, that's pretty standard these days. Recommendation only for the absolute hardcore fan of the Transformer universe or for those who are - for whatever reason - in need for some brain killing experience.

Most of this movie is boring, even when there is action on the screen. The first 1h30 should have been cut to an hour, and it would have been more entertaining. Up until this point, it was a middling 5/10 for me, just like the rest of these movies (bar 1 perhaps).

HOWEVER, the final act/fight is honestly stellar - I actually sat up and properly enjoyed the battle, the fact that the people were actually involved (due to what I thought was a pretty neat, if cliché device).

It actually felt like there were some stakes too, both on large and small scale. The music, both soundtrack and needle drops were on point. Just a pity that the rest of the movie didn't have this level of quality.

This is obviously just a cash cow, made for no reason other than to fill the pockets of the Hollywood producers, knowing that the masses will go watch ANOTHER Transformer movie in the summertime anyways...no matter how bad the reviews may be...

The bad: this edition is without any famous actor and that hurts the movie, big time. The 2 (unknown) leading actors for sure arent terrible, but they sure as heck arent able to carry this movie by themselves either. Bummer.

More bad: what about the thrill and spectactle? This movie is severely lacking in real thrill and spark! I mean after 30 minutes I already got bored watching this movie. And getting bored is the last thing I desire when watching an action movie for petes sake!

Not any good then? It'll do for the masses, but be sure to bring along a lot of popcorn though, because any junkfood you will eat, will guaranteed give you more satisfaction than watching this mediocre franchise edition.