Secret Santa

Also titled Secret Santa. Early 90s Straight to video college buddy let's make a horror movie fan film schlock. Direction and editing make it interesting, but the comedy is juvenile and tries hard to hijack the film. Instead of using 16mm scratch effects, the better choice would have been VHS tracking lines. The acting is clumsy and immature and no actor separates themselves with any charisma, which is probably right so that you root for the next clumsy kill. One plus is the use of practical effects, the hairdryer scene being the highlight. Random note: eggnog, like blood is supposed to be thicker than water. Music vacillates between nintendocore and synth used in Eli Roth Thanksgiving trailer. As we reach the final 20 mins of the film one wonders if this was filmed as a stream of consciousness with the sole purpose to make some gore effects. No knock on that. I've done that. Best served earlier in a movie marathon, 1/4 in the bag, with a few friends. Or better yet on some horror film fest circuit. Maybe then the humor would sputter a bit better. Survived with a couple drams of Old Soul. Warning: The closing credits may cause seizures or flashbacks.

Shot on video with a godawful grainy 'grindhouse' filter effect (Quentin Tarantino has a lot to answer for), comedy slasher Secret Santa delivers some fairly decent gore effects, the majority of which occur in the final twenty minutes, meaning that there's the best part of an hour of 'character development' to get through first - not great when most of the characters in question are so tedious, the script lamentably dumb, and the acting unbearable.

The worst offender is, without a doubt, Geoff Almond as hopped-up loser Dwayne, who is as irritating as he is bald, but there are plenty of other obnoxious types guaranteed to rankle, including smarmy professor Ramsey (Tony Nash) who is diddling his student Olivia (Nicole Kawalez), promiscuous blonde Carissa (Keegan Chambers), and two-timing Bryan (Brent Baird), who cheated on his girlfriend Nicole (Annette Wozniak), the only likeable character in the whole film (even if she is a web cam model).

Nicole is, not surprisingly, the film's 'final girl', all of her friends bumped off before the end of the film by a masked killer who has been sending them Secret Santa gifts that reveal how they will be killed: a meat cleaver, an electric knife, gardening shears (for a spot of graphic penis pruning!), and a hairdryer (which leads to the funniest moment in the film, when the cable proves too short for the killer to throw it into the victim's bath). The bloody and well executed gore (head smashed in, decapitations, chainsawed legs) in the final act, and the occasional spot of gratuitous female nudity (although, rather strangely, no boobage), make it just about worth persevering until the end.

4.5/10, rounded down to 4 for the aged/distressed look, which is completely unconvincing and totally unnecessary.

Living in a small town, a group of college students are trying to prepare for the holidays with a special party and gift-exchange at their house which brings out a slew of secrets, hidden personalities, and a savage killer who starts to target the group one by one forcing them to fight back.

Overall, this was a decent enough slasher throwback. Among the better features here is the simplistic setup that works well enough at being this particular style by detailing the lives of the people involved in the community. By bringing a series of clues about who they are and what the individual points of their various relationships with not just having to deal with their normal college duties but also trying to work through discreet online personalities, clandestine hookups, and general burden of their lives, it creates a fairly intriguing setup that starts the film off quite nicely. When this is all matched alongside the series of clues about the strange killer in their midst who uses a great tactic of introducing a Secret Santa gift exchange to cause division in the group while these stories play out, it's a generally solid setup that's worthwhile enough in this type of feature. That leads into the other enjoyable aspect of this one that works quite well here is the rather fun finale where the killing finally gets going. While featuring the opening attack on the students in their house, the only thing that happens until a massacre at the end is a singular ambush sequence that shows off a hint of what's to come in the big finish with cheesy effects in a brutal concept to bring about their death. The rampage in the house is handled quite well with the idea of the previous build-up of the characters helping to provide some hint of the type of activity to come with the style of impressive shock ambushes that take place involving a slew of cheesy features to help tide this one over as the slew of encounters here provide a rapid fire pace in this section of the film. Combined with the solid ending twist that's effective if not entirely necessary, these are all enough to enjoy here as there are a few issues with this one that hold it down. One of the main aspects with this one is the generally glacial pacing that never provides much of anything until the finale. By focusing heavily on the different members of the group and going through each of the various stories involved here with the rocky relationship involving the one being a webcam model, a jealous ex trying to get with her boyfriend, a stoner trying to get the drugs out of his system to party, and the teacher trying to perv on everyone at the party, the set pieces here are given much more room in the running time that happens at the expense of the killer's presence knocking people off. It's all generally lackluster and doesn't make the film that enjoyable, much like the incredibly underwhelming reasoning for the killer to go for the rampage which is immensely stupid and lame, has no connection to anyone, and makes for a highly non-threatening time here. These all manage to hold the film down.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, Rear Nudity, and drug use.

This was titled Christmassacre on Prime, and it should not be confused with the 2018 Adam Marcus-directed comedy/horror Secret Santa on the same platform. Regardless this one is an amateur slasher comedy. And considering that this film's budget was apparently expired foodstamps, some of the dialogue is actually pretty funny and the quasi-professional actors deliver relatively decent performances. Unfortunately the story is trite, the practical effects look silly and the budgetary constraints detract from virtually every scene. There's a sense that the people involved in the production have real talent, but there wasn't the time or money available to develop their ideas into something entertaining or even fully coherent.

Indie horror flicks seem to be getting churned out at such an alarming pace these days that it's hard to keep up, but I'm glad I caught Secret Santa. It at least attempts a little character development here and there, has a great lead (Annette Wozniak), and has a sense of humor to go along with all the blood and guts. It does do the rather annoying "let's add dust and scratches to make it look like an old grindhouse print" thing, which makes no sense since the film takes place in modern day and would never be confused for a film of that era, but that's a small nitpick when there was obviously a good deal of heart and enthusiasm put into this movie. Also, major props for the killer reveal. It's been a long time since I've been that surprised by a slasher movie killer reveal.