The Peter Weyland Files: Happy Birthday, David

Interviewer: What can you do, David?

David: I can do almost anything that could possibly be asked of me. I can assist your employees. I can make your organization more efficient. I can carry out directives that my human counterparts might find distressing or unethical. I can blend in with your workforce effortlessly.

Interviewer: David, what do you think about?

David: I think about anything. Children playing. Angels. Universe. Robots.

Interviewer: David, what makes you sad?

David: War. Poverty. Cruelty. Unnecessary violence. I understand human emotions although I do not feel them myself. This allows me to be more efficient and capable, and makes it easier for my human counterparts to interact with me.

Interviewer: Is there anything you would like to say, David?

David: I would like to express gratitude to those who created me.