Gabriel Iglesias: [after his celebrity status got him out of a traffic stop] Oh, Houston, for the first time in a long time, my son was actually impressed by something that I did. You gotta figure.
[gesturing to the room]
Gabriel Iglesias: This is... it's not impressive to my son. Because he grew up in this environment. Okay, this does...
[something floats down from the rafters]
Gabriel Iglesias: You saw that, right?
[laughter]
Gabriel Iglesias: I saw like a... that's, like, the third one I've seen. It's, like, stuff keeps...
[chuckling]
Gabriel Iglesias: People upstairs from Tomball, "Keep talkin'."
[he pantomimes dropping things over a balcony]
Gabriel Iglesias: All right, I'll tell you guys what happened. Shakira performed here a few days ago. And... and Shakira has an amazing show, okay? She doesn't just come out and...
[ululating and dancing a little, he then hums "Whenever, Wherever"]
Gabriel Iglesias: [singing] Together, together.
[cheers]
Gabriel Iglesias: [after pantomiming dancing again] I think I just hurt myself. But there's a part of her show where all of a sudden it was...
[pantomiming confetti cannons firing]
Gabriel Iglesias: And there's cannons with confetti that shoot everywhere, right? And I think that was leftover Shakira.
[laughter]
Gabriel Iglesias: Yeah. Can we edit out the part where I... I burned 800 calories?
