The Fat Spy

What was everyone thinking when they signed on for this one?

The Fat Spy has just about everything wrong with it, actors not motivated to act, jokes that just fall flat, a plot that makes no sense, and Jack E. Leonard.

I remember Jack E. Leonard from many viewings of the Ed Sullivan show in the Fifties and Sixties. He was the Don Rickles of his day. A roly-poly comedian who made his bones in burlesque, Leonard specialized in insult comedy.

For some reason someone thought he'd be good to star in a feature film. So The Fat Spy was created and we got two Jack E. Leonards. They're playing brothers, one of whom is involved with Jayne Mansfield and the other with Phyllis Diller. Talk about differing tastes, that is the funniest thing about The Fat Spy.

No one ever asked Leonard to star in another film. Jayne Mansfield would make two more and then be tragically taken from us. Phyllis Diller was better served by her appearances with Bob Hope. Brian Donlevy is Jayne's father in this film and he calls her Junior. Donlevy has a look of pain throughout the film, wondering if his paycheck was going to clear the bank.

Anyway a group of treasure hunting teenagers on Brian Donlevy's private island look like they might discover the fabled Fountain of Youth rumored to be there. As Shaw says, "youth is wasted on the young" so the older generation wants to chase the kids off and get the secret of eternal youth for themselves.

Johnny Tillotson who is a fine singer and songwriter made his one and only appearance in film as a character. Acting was not among his talents, but he got to run off with a mermaid.

Pass this one by unless you want to hear Johnny Tillotson sing.

Truly abysmal beach 'comedy' featuring the fading glamour that was Jayne Mansfield.

I think I would be hard pushed to find a worse movie than this! The acting, direction, stock quality, music, sound recording and plot are all dreadful. The plot, or what little of it there is, has something to do with the fountain of youth on a small tropical island but will leave you bamboozled to say the least.

The only attraction here is Jayne Mansfield and it will only be fans of the actress that will want to get hold of this film. However, by now Jayne was on a downward spiral that would eventually lead to her tragic death. Never averse to making a quick B picture to bring in some cash and push her celebrity, things were by now in dire straits and this is well and truly a Z grade film made for next to nothing. Mansfield takes 50 steps backward here in her personal quest to be taken seriously as a dramatic actress. Her dumb blonde performance in this picture is an embarrassment to behold and her sex pot image is seriously on the wane as her famous curves have been filled by extra flesh.

A disaster in every sense of the word and a real shame to see someone with Jayne's obvious potential wasted in a load of old rubbish. It's hard to imagine that someone who appeared in the classic 'The Girl Can't Help It' and got the full Fox treatment is now doing Monroe rip-offs in nonsense such as this.

Steer clear...!

"Off the Florida coast, teenagers (sic) come to a nearly deserted island, rumored to have 'The Fountain of Youth.' This island's owner is none too happy about that, and dispatches his daughter, Junior, to get rid of them. The island's only resident, Irving (Jack E. Leonard), is Junior's sweetie. He is sent to spy on the kids to find out what they know. Irving's twin brother and his girlfriend Camille (Phyllis Diller), are also headed for the island, with their own nefarious plans," according to the DVD sleeve description.

Baby-fattened Jayne Mansfield (as Junior) is introduced hiding her belly behind a bust of George Washington. But, the titular "Fat Spy" refers to "Bronx High School of Science" and "Fink University" stand-up comic Jack E. Leonard (as twins Irving and Herman). With a bald head, Mr. Leonard smooches Ms. Diller, while a toupee allows gets him some necking time with Ms. Mansfield. Her father is rotund Brian Donlevy (as George Wellington), who mutters something about "LSD 26"and speaks on a phallic telephone.

Hopefully, Mr. Donlevy had more blackouts than flashbacks regarding this appearance. Leonard and Diller were likely able to laugh it off. Also appearing, in a candy-striped swimsuit, pop star Johnny Tillotson (as Dodo Bronk) re-plays the "Mermaid" subplot from "Beach Blanket Bingo" (1965). None of the aforementioned cast members are seen at their best, but four stars must be awarded Jordan Christopher and the Wild Ones (Chuck Alden, Tom Trick, Ed Wright and Tom Graves) for the bathing suits and tight tunes.

"People Sure Act Funny" (an apt opener), "Nanette" and "Wild Way of Living" (the version nearer the end of the film) are highlights.

**** The Fat Spy (5/11/66) Joseph Cates ~ Jack E. Leonard, Phyllis Diller, Jordan Christopher, Jayne Mansfield

Really one of the worst movies I've ever seen. But funny in the same way "Plan 9 from Outer Space" is. The "musical" scenes are stunningly bad and the songs themselves are worse still. The acting is consistently horrific throughout. The plot and storyline impossible to fathom let alone follow. The 'actors' themselves seem to have no idea what the plot is. High point would be the 'musical' number near the end with Phyllis Diller and Jack E Leonard dancing around in some garden. But even though it's terrible from start to finish, it's watchable on some strange campy level. It's just so incredibly bad ... I kept wondering if it might eventually make some sort of sense before it was all over. But it didn't.

It would be impossible to write a spoiler of 'The Fat Spy' because even after watching it twice, I have no idea what it was about.

I found this on DVD at Wal-Mart for $2.00 CDN.

I would like to know the story behind "Fat Spy". After all, when you watch it, you keep saying to yourself that this must be a joke! That's because it's a horrible and incomprehensible mess--even worse, in many places, than films like "Plan 9 From Outer Space" or "Robot Monster"! That's because the movie is so disjoint--as if someone just tossed many disparate pieces of junk and strung them all together. In fact, just describing the plot is practically impossible, as the film is THAT much of a mess.

The film consists of three usually separate films. One is a teen film--sort of like a SUPER-cheap surfer film. None of the folks performing in it appeared to be real actors--just a bunch of young adults cavorting on some island off the coast of Florida. They say that they are looking for some hidden treasure but this rarely seems to be the case. Another consists of music videos by some group I'd never heard of...and I assume the same would be true for you and I can DEFINITELY understand why they never became more famous! The final is made up of professional(??) but mostly D-list stars performing some skits--most of which aren't funny in the least (but I did like the Jackie Leonard song that he sings to Phyllis Diller). The scenes really look like outtakes--bad ones at that. You KNOW a film is doomed when it is anchored by Diller, Leonard and Jayne Mansfield. Oddly, however, Brian Donlevy (a legitimate actor!!) appears in a few of these scenes. All three are woven, ineptly, together with some plot involving the fountain of youth...kind of. And, to make matters worse, the film has no ending....just some sort of hurried comments on the screen trying (in vain) to wrap everything together!

Is the film worth seeing? Well, since it's in the public domain, it costs nothing--so at least that's a plus. Otherwise, unless you are a bad film addict, stay away...RUN from this film. But, for folks who like to see people embarrass themselves, it is an interesting curio.