The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!

Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!, The (1972)

BOMB (out of 4)

Legend has it that Milligan turned in a 72-minute werewolf movie but the producer wanted a longer running time. WILLARD was making big bucks at the box office so twenty-minutes worth of rat footage was thrown in. The end result is one of the greatest titles in the history of cinema but that doesn't save you from the torture of sitting through the actual film. A wacky bride takes her new husband home to meet her even nuttier relatives and he soon discovers that they're all crazy and hiding a big secret (they're werewolves). This was my fourth Milligan movies and I'm a firm believer that those on Death Row should be forced to watch his movies for the rest of their lives because it's a punishment far worse than death or torture. In fact, while watching this movie there were several times where I started to fantasize about being put to death in the electric chair because it would have gotten me out of my misery a lot quicker than sitting through this mess of a picture. This is basically an incredibly bad, long winded and painful melodrama about family "struggles" with only the briefest of hints in regards to what the title offers. I was well aware of this going into the film but it didn't help matters because the dialogue, for the most part, is poorly written and there's not an ounce of energy to be found anywhere. The performances aren't as bad as you'd think but that really doesn't improve the film any. At least bad acting would have given us something to laugh at. People like Wood and Adamson are often attacked for being bad directors but at least they give the viewer something fun. That can't be said for Milligan whose ability to keep finding producers really makes me scratch my head. This is an incredibly horrid movie from start to finish and we also get several scenes were real animals are harmed so certain viewers might want to stay away if the horrid film itself wasn't enough to keep you away. Just wait to you see the rat attacks and the insane ending.

I first met Andy Milligan in 1985 and told him how much I enjoyed his movies. I remember how he actually blushed when I asked for his autograph. This 1972 movie is his best . . .but I am the first to admit that is small compliment. The Mooney family has no end of problems. Pa Mooney claims to be 199 years old, daughter Monica (Hope Stansbury) is a sadist, son Malcolm is a halfwit and the whole family are werewolves! There is enough plot here for two movies! The eldest daughter in the family (Jackie Skarvellis) returns home from medical school with a new husband, which Pa Mooney heartily disapproves of, but she is the last hope that they can overcome the ancient curse. Will she succeed? Remember, this is an Andy Milligan film we are talking about! Clearly Hope Stansbury is the best actress in the picture. A Milligan perennial, she turns up in several of his pictures. Andy always denied it but I suspect it is he playing Mr. Macawber, the one armed, disfigured shopowner who sells Ms. Stansbury the rats which serve to pad out the picture by 11 minutes (11 l-o-n-g minutes!). Notice during one scene in Mr. Macawber's shop if you look at the background you will see several cardboard boxes labeled "Hires Root Beer". A great movie? No. A fun movie? Yes, definitely. I miss you Andy.

The utterly insane Mooney family has many problems, the least of which is lycanthropy. Their biggest deficit stems from just how bloody annoying they all are!

When daughter, Diana (Jackie Skarvellis) brings her new husband, Gerald home for a visit, the family really turns out! Sister, Monica shows her true eeevil. Feral brother, Malcolm lives in his chicken-filled room, raving like a rabid squirrel, even when he's not being set on fire. Pa Mooney grumbles in his pompous way, in between neck injections.

Luckily, Gerald is accustomed to horrible families, having come from one of his own.

Soon enough, everyone is yelling at each other in histrionic hysteria. Monica beats Malcolm, who caterwauls like a wounded hyena. Chickens are mercilessly murdered in the family dungeon. A mouse is stabbed with a butcher knife, then nailed to a table (yes, the graphic animal torture is all too real! If you are disturbed by such sadistic, idiot behavior, then, by all means, avoid this travesty!).

THE RATS ARE COMING! THE WEREWOLVES ARE HERE! Is a rugged test of endurance, recommended for only the stoutest of hyper-schlock, sludge, and sub-sludge enthusiasts! Even they will require protective eyewear! Normal viewers may feel their souls separate from their bodies, experiencing what the scholars refer to as "sweet oblivion"! Indeed, this "film" may cause living death!

What establishes this Andy Milligan anti-opus far below other, lesser cesspool-filler, is its extreme, brain-liquifying aura of stupefaction. The delirious "dialogue" unites with the mannequin-like "acting", pounding away at the mind like a slaughterhouse bolt gun! Add in the trance-inducing tedium, and you'll feel mummified!

Anyone making it to the impossibly inept, shape-shifting non-finale can be thankful, yet wonder why they bothered.

God help us all...

The thing that attracted me to this movie was, of course, the bizarre and over the top title, but to be honest I wish the movie had been given a more generic name. This is the fourth film I've seen by the talentless Andy Milligan, and it's the third completely awful one. It would seem the director has an obsession with rich families and inheritance, as this is yet another film with a similar theme to Blood Rites and its crappy remake Legacy of Blood. This time, there's a family curse involving werewolves thrown in, but this doesn't make things any more interesting as the terrible acting and production values are still there, and this really is an awfully boring film. The plot pacing is trite throughout, and the film was giving me an itchy fast-forward finger before the final credits finally rolled. The special effects are tacky and ineffective, and there's not a single decent gore scene in the entire movie. Add extremely poor sound into the mix, and you have a film that isn't only boring and similar to other crappy Andy Milligan films, but one that you can't even understand! Overall, I wouldn't be callous enough to recommend this dross to even my worst enemy and you should take that as a reason not to bother seeing it.

After watching Bloodthirsty Butchers I was afraid to watch this one, not for the horror but being horrified that it is another turkey. luckely it was better but still worse, the acting is better but still, yes you can guess it. Again there is a lot of talking in this flick and what the hell the rats are doing was not clear until I did my research. The movie was too short and the producer wanted some extra scene's, and that became the rat man with his, euh, rats. Nothing to do with the movie so you know it, the whole movie is a turkey. It's only in the last 10 minutes that the werewolfs arrive. Or is it carnival, man the make up is so stupid.It's all predictable what is going to happen, so no fear at all, no suspense and still Andy Milligan (the director) has his following, and still sells DVD's, this flick is a bit hard to catch and as always not that cheap.