"Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" is Irwin Allen's follow-up to his excellent 1972 box office smash "The Poseidon Adventure". However, this one doesn't come close to matching the danger and excitement of the original. In fact, I found myself laughing most of the time at the absurdity of it all. Michael Caine reteamed with Allen after "The Swarm" for this soggy sequel about two salvage crews (one good, one bad) that race each other to probe the upside-down wreck of the luxury liner Poseidon, which as you'd recall got turned over by a 90-foot tidal wave in the first film. The usual all-star cast is here, but this time around a brand new cast comes on board. Most of them make total fools of themselves. Caine takes over for Gene Hackman as the one who barks orders at everyone (instead of a reverend, Caine plays a tugboat captain). Sally Field embarrasses herself as Caine's sidekick (Field has said that this is the worst movie she's ever made and on the basis of her performance here, she's right). Peter Boyle (TV's "Everybody Loves Raymond") has the Ernest Borgnine role as the one who's yelling and complaining all the time (no, he doesn't reprise Borgnine's role from the first film). Telly Savalas looks silly as the doctor who actually has an agenda of his own. Slim Pickens has the goofiest role in the film as an alcoholic Texan who spends the entire movie holding a bottle of wine. Karl Malden, Jack Warden, and the two Shirleys (Knight and Jones) have the only good roles in the film. These roles should have been put into a better, different movie. There are two actors who star in "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" in early roles before they hit it big on television: Veronica Hamel is in this film a few years before she was cast on the great TV show "Hill Street Blues" (she also appeared in Allen's next film: "When Time Ran Out"), and so is Mark Harmon (before "St. Elsewhere"). Now I'll grant you there are some good scenes in this film, but not enough of them. So take my advice: stick with the original film. You'll be glad you did.
** (out of four)
