Raw Force

I was going to give this one 9 out of 10 but had to knock it down because it quite simply wasted Jillian Kesner (RIP; you kicked my ass).

A nutty German who is apparently Hitler's younger brother, Chip, trades Philippine hookers for Jade to some weird monks ("Zey eat zem," Chip tells us) and uses a group of head-band-wearing Kung-fu thugs to protect the operation. If that sentence right there doesn't make you want to watch this film...

Zee chade mine must be kept a zeecret...sorry. Chip doesn't want anyone to know about the jade mine and when he finds out a low rent cruise ship is planning on making a tour of "Warrior Island" (dun dun duuun) he tells his thugs to take care of it. They fail of course, due to the First Commandment of Kung-fu: The good guy will always kick butt no matter how many bad guys attack him at once.

The thugs do manage to set the ship on fire and kill everyone on board except the plucky group of heroes. Their life raft beaches on the island and more Kung-fu ensues. The monks capture the group and tell them they may not leave until they have fought the monk's Kung-fu masters which is the queue for the Kung-fu ZOMBIES (!) to enter (I freaking love this film!).

The fight scenes were great, the over-acting was wonderful and the concept was so far out that it clicked like Fred Astaire in tap shoes. I can't end the review without a special shout out to Mitchell who was the ONLY man who could play the part of the captain. I laughed out loud every time he fired his pistol, especially when he tried to get the attention of a potential rescue plane by firing his pistol AT it! This film had it all and I can't do it justice here. Just see this film!

Things you didn't know: The South China Sea is loaded with piranha Asian chefs are ALWAYS Kung-fu masters Buddhist monks aren't always the peaceful guys they are rumored to be

Outrageously trashy karate/horror thriller with loads of graphically gory violence and gratuitous nudity, and a thoroughly preposterous and bizarre "plot". This is lowbrow and low-grade entertainment that will appeal only to viewers with particularly kinky tastes, but it's kind of cheerfully bad and I must admit that I wasn't actually bored while watching it.... (*1/2)

Yup, it played on the big screen with on a double bill with "Cannibal Ferox". There were some special guests who worked on this obscure film and they did not have much good to say about it. I guess the director was a big time sleaze and was also inexperienced. There is lots of nudity in this one. All the elements of exploitation are covered, including female slavery. It's actually a really hilarious movie which is probably partly intentional. The crowd loved it.

This is a movie that changes type and tone even ten minutes, is poorly shot, edited, acted, and staged, and makes no sense, BUT it's hilariously stupid, and so weird that you can't help but love it. Cameron Mitchell seemed drunk and/or confused the entire movie and the copious nudity doesn't hurt. Great midnight movie!

Zombies, cannibalistic monks, kung fu, gore and tons of hilariously exploitative and entirely gratuitous nudity?! - Hell yes! - this has all the intrinsic ingredients to make it surely every blokes dream movie! And you know what? This heady mix of sleaze and action very almost lives up to the accolade to!

Marvel at such scenes as one of our hero's performing a daring flying kick through a moving trucks window (and breaking his foot in the process!), a seeming army of zombie samurai and a couple of still very agile zombie ninja(!!!), some decidedly creepy monks who spend most of their time laughing like imbeciles(!!!), an hilarious bar fight, an evil white suit wearing Nazi (complete with Hitler style comb over and moustache!) and enough leering, lingering close up shots of female breasts to fill an average porno! Yes indeed, this is great fun from beginning to end although it does have to be said that the main action featuring our heroes vs zombies sadly doesn't kick in until the final third of the flick which is a bit of a shame.

Nonetheless, if it's purely raw action and sleaze you're after then Raw Force certainly delivers!