Commando

Disgraced commando Bennett (Vernon Wells) kidnaps Jenny (Alyssa Milano), the teenage daughter of his retired superior John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger), with the hope of blackmailing her father into killing the president of a banana republic. Matrix has other ideas, and, with a little help from trainee pilot Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong), borrows a shopping cart full of weapons, a pair of flippers, and some black Speedos to wage a one-man war against the bad guys.

If my memory serves me correctly, Commando was the first 18-certificate I ever saw at the cinema, so nostalgia undoubtedly plays some part in my love for the film. Taking off my rose-tinted glasses for a second, I can see that the film is incredibly naff in places, with numerous cheesy action scenes in which the hero stabs, shoots and blows up countless enemy soldiers (including numerous static dummies) without suffering so much as a scratch.

However, with star Arnold spitting one-liners like an Uzi spits bullets, lively direction from Mark L. Lester (Class of 1984, Showdown in Little Tokyo), a script that acknowledges its ridiculousness (Cindy proclaiming "I can't believe this macho bullshit…"), and lots of OTT cartoon-style violence, it all amounts to a hugely entertaining dollop of '80s action excess. **Puts rose-tinted glasses back on**… they just don't make 'em like this anymore.