- Cop: Hey kid. Why do you wear sunglasses at night?
- Vince Latello: Because when you're cool, the sun shine on you 24 hours a day.
- Vince Latello: Hey, I hit on Sawyer once.
- Michael Harlan: Oh yeah.
- Vince Latello: Yeah, I tried to give her this Italian macho bod.
- Michael Harlan: What did she do?
- Vince Latello: Poor girl lost out. She called me a name I had to look up in the Dictionary!
- Ellie Sawyer: [while being chased by police] What are we going to do?
- Vince Latello: About one to five with good behavior.
- Vince Latello: I don't believe this! I could be home watchin' Magnum!
- Michael Harlan: Will you stop whining?
- Vince Latello: WHINING? BARNEY RUBBLE JUST TRIED TO FLAME ME OUT!
- Vince Latello: Son of a bitch, whaddaya call this wawa?
- Sherman: I believe you'd call him a Neanderthal man.
- Vince Latello: Well I don't care what country he's from! One shot to the chones an' he's down!
- Bob Roberts: You guys cut my science final! What's with you guys? Where were you?
- Michael Harlan: We got kinda hung up in the auto shop...
- Vince Latello: Yeah, in the ozone.
- Bob Roberts: In the ozone, Blowzone! I'm tired of you four-F's! Let me tell you something, unless your project is dyno-supreme
- [pauses]
- Bob Roberts: you both get D's!
- Vince Latello: [eagerly] Hey I'll take it!
- Vince Latello: [smiling and waving to the camera with shades on while taking his mugshot] Hi, mom!
- Policewoman: Ugly little cockroach...
- Vince Latello: Hey what's the matter, I got boogers? Huh?
- [finger up his nose]
- Policewoman: [in his face] Hey kid, why do you wear your sunglasses at night?
- Vince Latello: Because when you're COOL... the sun shines on you twenty-four hours a DAY!
- Policewoman: [rips off his shades] Oh, yeah?
- [stiff-arms him against the wall and walks away]
- Vince Latello: Chill out, Butch... and get a shave.
- Michael Harlan: [at the school library counter] We need a book.
- Sherman: Oh, a car book?
- Vince Latello: [mockingly] A car book?
- Michael Harlan: No, a book on strange things.
- Sherman: Like Vince.
- Vince Latello: [grabs Sherman] Hey, syonara dicknose!
- Ellie Sawyer: Michael, is Bob dead?
- Michael Harlan: I don't know.
- Vince Latello: Great. There goes my D.
- General: Brief me!
- General's Aide: It entered our air space last night and made a mockery of our intercept fighters. And according to the pursuit pilots it suffered a malfunction and crashed in the desert.
- Sherman: This plant has been extinct for sixty million years!
- Vince Latello: Yeah? Well I ain't ever seen one before!
- Vince Latello: Danger makes great sex. Catch you guys later!
- Michael Harlan: Latello, wait!
- Vince Latello: Hey! These are all optical delusions. Like ghosts, so it's cool!
- [calling into the fog]
- Vince Latello: Here comes Latello, YO!
- [Neanderthal Man jumps out and attacks]
- Harlan: Caps to the dynamite, dynamite to the legs, got it?
- Ellie Sawyer: Caps to the dynamite, dynamite to the legs, got it.
- Harlan: Latello?
- Latello: Caps to the legs, legs to the dynamite.
- Harlan: Come on!
- Latello: Hey, good thing I watch TV, huh?
- Bob Roberts: [after testing the gizmo with a metal detector, which goes haywire and shorts out] Now this has gotta be broken.
- Ellie Sawyer: Wait Bob, why would that be broken?
- Bob Roberts: Because if it isn't broken Michael, this is older than earth! All right?
- Vince Latello: [Digging in the police car] I'm comin', I'm comin'. But if I'm gonna wind up in another dimension like Bob-o-rino...
- [whips out a shotgun and cocks it]
- Vince Latello: I'm goin' in there packin'!
- Bob Roberts: This thing is generating power and light without heat, Michael!
- Michael Harlan: How is that possible?
- Bob Roberts: It's not possible! I mean not on this World, anyway.
- Vince Latello: Whoa, what other World are we talking about?