- Ed Chapman: [after Mikey tells him he invited Angie to his house] Well, now representing the Omen. Did you check her head with a little 666?
- Michael Chapman: Yeah, there were only two sixes, we got her just in time!
- [laughs]
- Michael Chapman: But that's what show business is all about. Acting like an idiot. It's not you, you're just doing your job. You know what I mean. Look at it this way, most people feel like idiots most of the time. But they don't get paid for it.
- Geena Briganti: [after Asian girl sings] I love that song.
- Michael Chapman: Me too, what were you playing?
- Michael Chapman: I'm something of a celebrity.
- Driver: What kind of celebrity are you, Asshole of the Month?
- Michael Chapman: No, that's all political.
- Angie Vega: I'll have coffee.
- Galaxy Waiter: [laughs] Coffee?
- Angie Vega: Yeah, coffee, it comes from beans, ever heard of it?
- [on the set of a cereal commercial]
- Barry Corman: You two clowns leave while I get into character.
- Michael Chapman: What character, all you gotta do is swallow.
- Girl: [overacting] I hate it when it's raining, we don't get to go outside for recess or ride our bikes after school!
- Angie Vega: That's great, but you're not gonna audition like that, right?
- Girl: What do you mean?
- Angie Vega: They're just cookies, don't make it sound like a commercial for hemorrhoids.
- Ed Chapman: Why isn't she in school?
- Angie Vega: I'm off for the holidays.
- Ed Chapman: Christmas is two weeks away.
- Angie Vega: I'm very religious, you got a problem with that?
- Santa: What would you like for Christmas, little girl?
- Angie Vega: I'd like you to find a chimney, and shove your...
- Mr. Corcoran: [LOOKS TOWARDS ANGIE] This girl got some spirits!
- Michael Chapman: Hey Geena . How's it going?
- Geena Briganti: Mr Corooran Absolutely loves ANGIE. She got the job!
- Michael Chapman: SHE GOT THE JOB! SHE GOT THE JOB! SHE GOT THE JOB! YES ! OKAY!
- Michael Chapman: Alright, I'll be calm, I'll be calm...