Deadly Heroes

I was flipping channels today and was drawn into this celluloid vortex of unintentional hilarity. It was like a ghastly car wreck, I knew I shouldn't look...but I couldn't help myself. For me, the most hilarious element of the movie was the fact that they couldn't afford professional stunt people, so these poor actors (I use the term "actor" loosely) had to do their own stunts!!! And believe me, when you see Grade D actors doing their own stunts, it's pretty funny to watch. My wife and I were rolling on the ground with laughter at the terribly choreographed fight scenes and special effects. There's one scene where Jan Michael Vincent tries to do a "wheel kick" to take down a terrorist and he literally stumbles and falls onto the guy! And they didn't edit it out! LOL For me, "Deadly Heroes" (even the title is hilarious) has become the contemporary "Plan Nine From Outer Space," in that they take it so seriously...and yet it's such an amateurish train wreck. If you appreciate truly bad dialogue, you'll love this film. Pretty much every third line is an "oucher." I'm going to try and find this film on video and invite some friends over for a hoot of a time. If you're the type that enjoys movies that are so bad they're good, I highly recommend this film. Cheers!

Michael Pare and Jan-Michael Vincent star as two commandos who look to fight it out against middle eastern terrorists who have hi-jacked a bus as well as kidnapped Pare's wife in this highly unlikely tale. Someone wrote me to ask what makes a guilty pleasure different from a laughable bomb. I had never thought about it but it had to be that the movie was goofy yet competently made, where as a laughable bomb is just goofy. Deadly Heroes is a laughable bomb because the movie starts with hijackers taking over a bus with plastic guns (I'm serious) I'm not even going to go into what it takes to actually make something penetrate the skin and kill, mainly black powder and the pressure which is highly explosive. Indeed one can't think of worse thing to make out of plastic. The movie actually proceeds to get even dumber as Billy Drago surfaces as a the head honcho villain. Indeed it is weird but it is only Jan-Michael Vincent who seems suited to his part. Where as the rest of the cast (Even the usually respectable Michael Pare) are uniformly bad. Still this is hilarious to watch and somehow this clunker plays on TV every summer for some unfathomable reason.

* out of 4-(Bad)

I thought that this movie here, Deadly Heroes was actually a decent movie. The casting was a different assembled one and how many movies does Billy Drago, Jan-Michael Vincent, and Michael Paré star in a film all together? Three unique actors all in one movie! Drago played a great and unusual psycho here in this movie which I think he is a great bad guy actor! Vincent played a good part and Paré was good as usual. Galit Giat who played the female baddie was really good. The action in the movie is good and the film starts off with a bang. It may seem like a different Delta Force movie since Billy Drago plays another and very similar psychotic drug lord but only this time his hair is shorter and a different color. I don't think that this film is bad at all and in fact I was quite interested through out the flick. Give this one a chance especially if you are a fan of the actors I mentioned above because I recommend it!

Gee, what can I say?

Nowadays I'm trying to prevent watching really really bad movies, because it is just a waste of time usually. I saw this movie by accident on TV when cooking and eating my dinner on a lazy saturday night, and so I actually saw this movie without being forced to. But at least I spend my time eating, which is good.

This movie has no qualities, period. It's a complete waste of time for anyone, anywhere. Absolutely incredibly bad acting by basically every single person in the movie, horrificly predictable plot-changes, ridiculous script, and a lobotomized monkey for a director (Yes that's you mr. Golan) make this an insult to anyone with even the slightest bit of brainmatter. I can't believe ANYONE would want to tie his name to this piece of crap.

This is the type of movie that gets aired by the TV networks because it came as an in-the-box gift of a box of cornflakes. I couldn't force myself to watch the rest of it when I was finished eating. And if you're wondering if I got sick of this movie, it's just too lame to get sick from.

This movie gets a 1 only because they won't allow negative scores on this database. If you're curious about this movie, ignore your curiousity and go do something more entertaining, like torturing yourself with a kitchen utensil or rearranging your socks. Trust me.

You know those really bad action films of the late 80's and early 90's? Some of them had big star names like Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Willis or Norris. This one only has semi-known Billy Drago, and everyone else are just no-names(I certainly didn't recognize anyone else). The film has just about every action-cliché known to man; the tough guy hero, the female lead who can't do anything at all by herself, and is merely there to give the hero someone to save, the bad guy who's like the meanest damn SOB you could possibly imagine; not only is he a killer, a terrorist and an A-hole, he's also a rapist. The male lead was probably chosen for the role because he has muscles and a ridiculously deep voice. The female lead was chosen because she's attractive, willing to do nudity, and because she can look helpless and attractive at the same time. The action is straightforward with no surprises. The plot is ridiculous and unoriginal. The acting is laughable. The characters are clichés and stereotypes. The film is thoroughly predictable and the action is so simple and unexciting that its only possible use is eye-candy. All in all, the film has nothing at all to offer. Everyone should just avoid this... unless of course you're a really big fan of B-movies. I recommend this solely to fans of B-movies. Everyone else should just avoid this. 1/10