London Suite

European and American characters intermingle in London for comedic Neil Simon stories underlined with pathos or sentiment. Simon's somewhat-withered adaptation of his play is seemingly an extension of many ideas or characters from his theatrical feature "California Suite"...and one that is not above copping ideas from other movies as well. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is an American on her honeymoon without a husband; Madeline Kahn is another tourist who goes out on a date with Scotsman Richard Mulligan (dressed up like David Niven in "Separate Tables"); Michael Richards and Julie Hagerty, in town for Wimbledon, are sidelined by slapstick-y bad luck; while actress Patricia Clarkson reunites with the ex-husband she still holds a torch for, Kelsey Grammar (playing gay). Simon's rhythm hasn't changed over the years: he sets up a joke wryly, detonates the joke dryly, and then delivers a comeback zinger. The whole movie is a series of zingers, most of which are met with stony silence (this is one sitcom that could use a laugh-track). Apparently cast with an eye on the NBC-TV market, the picture could really use some headier talent (Clarkson does well, though the supporting cast making up the staff get the biggest laughs). Louis-Dreyfus has an amusing bit telling a lie which gets bigger and bigger, and Richards' pinched nerve (while an easy target for visual jokes) has some funny repercussions. The TV production is rather cut-rate (as is the score and photography), however it's a relatively painless comedy--albeit one that is passed its prime.

Given the enormous comedic talent involved, this was rather disappointing. The most successful comedic playwright since Shakespeare, Neil Simon, has half a dozen of the most popular American comedians of the 1990's in this 1996 production. The director, Jay Sandwich, was the main director of the two most popular American television shows of the 1970's and 1980's (the Mary Tyler Moore Show and the Bill Cosby Show).

Neil Simon always mixes together four or five plots and keeps them moving briskly. In this case three of his four separate plots go nowhere. Only one pays off.

The successful plot involves Sidney (Kelsey Grammar) and Diana (Patricia Clarkson). Diana is a successful television star hoping to revive her marriage to Sidney that broke up eight years previously. Sidney has been living as a gay man on the Greek island of Mikonos for those eight years and has come to meet Diana for an entirely different reason. The performances here are subtle, sharp, sensitive and sweet.

Julia Louise Dreyfus and Johnathan Silverman try to work a plot about a newlywed who loses her husband at the airport. Dreyfus is pure slapstick, twisting,turning and rolling her eyes to simulate her hysteria at losing her husband. Silverman arrives too late and is too laid-back to improve things. At one point Dreyfus is supposed to be drunk and says to a waiter, "I'm drunk, can't you tell?" In fact, she acts drunk throughout, so it is hard to tell.

Michel Richards and Julie Haggardy do more mainly physical slapstick as a man with a bad back and a wife who loses her husband's Wimbledon tickets. This seems to go back to television sketch comedy of the 1950's. One could imagine Sid Caesar or Milton Berle wringing the same laughs from the material. Richards is in his element with the physical comedy, so there are a few laughs here. Brits, Paxton Whitehead and Jane Carr brighten up this episode.

Madeline Kahn and Richard Mulligan go on a mismatched date which leads nowhere. It reminded me of the old television show "Love American Style". There are a few faint smiles but no laughs here.

I would say, if you're a Neil Simon fan, see it for the wonderful acting of Kelsey Grammar and Patricia Clarkson, but don't expect anything from the other stories. As a whole, it is sub-par Neil Simon, but at least 25% of it is solid Neil Simon at his best

One has to feel that Jay Sandrich, as director, has to be responsible for the weak performances from this collection of usually reliable actors. With the exception of Michael Richards and Madeline Kahn, the credited actors turn in truly shocking performances. As for the Scottish and Irish accents from Richard Mulligan, Paxton Whitehead and Jane Carr, words fail me. These are trained actors?

Thankfully, the uncredited William Franklin, was, as ever, the consummate professional. If he watched the rushes, he probably requested to be left off the credit list.

How Simon must have shuddered.

The most important thing i can say now about London Suite is that, as a comedy, it's supposed to make you laugh. Well it didn't even make me smile. Not only once. Not even smile. And with that i say it all. I mean be serious! Is that humour?? No way! Every assumed gag is pointless and stupid, the actors play horrible, and that's not all. The worse thing is that it's not original. The idea looks a lot like Four Rooms. The same thing: 4 totally different stories, that happen in the same hotel. Only that in 4R they're presented one by one, and here they are all together. And in 4R they had something connecting them, and here they don't. And in 4R there was the genial Quentin Tarantino on board, here it's a bunch of talentless crew that manages to create one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Although the cast seemed promising: Elaine and Kramer from Seinfeld, Kristen Johnston from The Third Rock From The Sun, and Kelsey Grammar from Fraser and Cheers.

So if you by any chance have the chance to see this movie, DON'T. Chose anything else, but this one. Otherwise you'll waste 2 hours of your life. And life is too short to be wasted.

Vote: 2 out of 10.

This is a total bomb. The play on which it is based is also a bomb, considering the source. The baker's dozen of super talented actors could not save this monument to mediocrity. It truly screens like the very definition of a made-for-TV movie, only from the eighties rather than 1996. It's almost as if Mr. Simon was trying to squeeze out another "Suite" as excellent and successful as the first two . . . oh, wait . . . I guess that might be the point (?!?), but apparently the only point. A very constipated mash-up of retro-'60's dialogue and '90's comedic sensibilities, there is awkwardness to be had at nearly every turn.