Escape from DS-3

Diabolically bad in every way and it is not in the category of being " so bad it's good", it's just plain bad with zero entertainment value. This effort makes "Warpspeed" look like an Oscar contender.

If the DS3 in question had been a Citroen DS3 car that they were stuck in it may have had more entertainment value than being stuck in a bad miniature model with badly made sets.

Terrible "music", script, acting sets, and cardboard tube weapons. The obviously fake, cheap and nasty, security cameras were supported by pressed steel shelf supports attached by a screw going into the bottom of the cameras which would have damaged a real camera.

Not worth watching for any reason other that curiosity to see how badly made a film can actually be.

Steven Spielberg's sister, Anne, directs this sorry little sci-fi flick, which will never get the full MST3K treatment it deserves. What we have here is a cheaply-made "prison escape" movie that just happens to be set in space. The grim, hollow-faced hero (b-movie veteran Jackson "I'm Not Barry" Bostwick) is convicted of a Crime He Did Not Commit (there's something new), and is sent to a fairly deluxe prison satellite called DS-3. Unlike most movie prisons, DS-3 offers free drugs, a clean and comfortable living environment, well-behaved inmates, and even female sex-droids (!) for conjugal visits, but as the movie's title demands, Jackson spends the entire movie planning his "Escape." Personally, DS-3 doesn't seem so bad to me, except for one mean guard who looks like Harvey Pekar and enjoys zapping the inmates with this remote-control-type device that can cause pain in any part of the body. (Neat!) Oh, and the prison uniforms look like yellow pajamas, plus the sex droids (called "pen pals") wear ridiculous clown makeup for no good reason. Other than that, DS-3 seems like an okay place to live. Jackson shouldn't be such a complainer. All he does is whine and moan from the moment he gets there. No wonder the guards don't like him.

Although the satellite (which looks exactly like a floating microphone) supposedly has hundreds of prisoners, we only see four of them during the movie, including Mr. Bostwick and the lovable Bubba Smith, not far away from the "Police Academy" movies. Boy, do we see a LOT of these four guys -- sitting four-across at the dinner table, tossing around a medicine ball in the exercise room, and constantly planning the "Escape" while being conspicuously inconspicuous. Fortunately, the DS-3 staff is quite slow to catch on to the plot. The staff would *have* to be pretty dumb, or they'd realize that _working_ at DS-3 is actually worse than being imprisoned there.

The "Escape" plan is really complicated, by the way, and 95% of the movie's running time is devoted to scenes of Jackson, Bubba, and the two others working out the minute details. This is even more dull than it sounds. In the end, it mostly comes down to chucking razor-sharp throwing stars at the guards (including the Harvey Pekar guy) and hijacking a conveniently-available ship.

Since the movie takes itself oh-so-seriously but is made oh-so-cheaply, it's an excellent source of unintentional laughs. All in all, a good rental.

Anyone remember "Blake's 7" on the BBC? Well this reminded me rather a lot of that - only without any decent characters or actors. It's all about "Lavette" (Jackson Bostwick) who has been sent to a prison in space that is essentially just a collection of automated cells that allows virtually no chance of escape. However, as they say, there is nothing the wit of man can devise that the wit of man cannot un-devise, and pretty soon he is working with his fellow inmates create a plan to seize the station from their rather complacent guards and hijack a shuttle so they can flee to outer space. The story is not bad, indeed with some decent talent in front of and behind the camera, it could have made for a passable little sci-fi adventure. As it is, though, it's all pretty woeful with wobbly sets and an equally wobbly plot. It needed two directors - perhaps one did Monday, Wednesday and Friday? Nothing worth watching here, I'm afraid.

Ugh. The worst movie I have ever seen. And that's saying a lot. I am easily amused and will gladly sit thru cruddy movies even for camp value alone. But this film had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Not even "so bad, its good" but rather just plain bad. If you have chronic incoming, don't pop a pill, just pop this bad boy into your VCR (I cannot believe that this will ever be on DVD) and let 'er rip. Snoozeville within 10 minutes.

Slow. Bad characters. Bad effects. Nothing much happens the entire time. Not even a MST-3000 treatment render this worth watching. And don't get me started on how the movie managed to render Bubba Smith, one of the silver screen's finest thespians, into a one-dimensional zero of a character. (Just joking on that last comment....)

This film shares the exact same set & space ship & actors as Warp Speed, Staring Adam West. It is like watching the same film with well not much of a story line. But non the less it is what it is, that being not Star Wars, so take it as you see it and don't judge it too harshly other wise it would get 1/10. Made for TV movies by their very nature suffer from low budgets, meaning poor acting & no special effects. If you can tolerate films of this nature then its not bad, I have seen a lot worse films made for 100 times the budget. A shining light of this flick is Hightower of police academy fame. If you find your self liking this then check out warp speed.........................