Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon

A cinematic triumph. Pamela and Tommy Lee's Sex Video, supposedly stolen from the newlyweds' house, is nothing but buoyant fun. Pamela Anderson Lee, the internationally lusted-after Baywatch star, is positively unsinkable as she frolics in the buff off the Lees' Jacuzzi-equipped pleasure cruiser.

Speaking of pleasure cruisers, Tommy's is cinema's real Titanic, although in this case it never founders. (Tommy Lee first made his name -- for what it's worth -- in the brainless 80s teen-rock band Motley Cru. You can certainly see where he got his self-confidence.)

Even Pamela's famously plasticized accessories don't ring a false note. Who's to say what's real; they show up on videotape, right? Besides, there's no faking dialogue like:

Pamela: "Where's my cocktail?"

Tommy: "It's right here, baby." (he pans downward)

It's too bad the happy couple's dissolute pleasures are marred by excessive expressions of love and devotion.

"You're the best f---ing husband in the world!" Pamela squeals.

Other than that bit of sentimentality, this is forty-five minutes worth of premium Americana -- show-biz success enjoyed the way God intended it: in a four-wheel-drive truck, rocking its shocks to pieces in the breakdown lane of the I-5.

(Note: If IMDb doesn't want certain words included in reviews, even when those words are actual quotations from the film, then perhaps IMDb should not include films that contain such nasty words in its database.)

This is just a piece of crap!!!

The video angles are so bad,that there is times when you don't know what is happening. The only positive thing about this movie is that you get to see Pamela Anderson in other situations than baywatch.

It's not very easy to get a hold of this movie because it is supposed to be private,but if you are really looking for it you will find it.

The sex scenes in this movie only last for 10min and if you have the cut version i guess it only last for about 10 seconds.If the reason why you want this movie is nudity,I advice you to rent an adult movie instead,because this is so badly made and it also contains a lot of other boring scenes.

Stay away,(I guarantee that you will be disappointed).

I have watched this movie many times, and I think, despite the lack of characters and story line, this movie was decently done. I guess the biggest improvement this movie could make was to clean the dirty lens. Half the time the shots were blurry and the camera was shaking around. A major downside of this movie was the lack of emotion. I felt as emotional as I would watching paint dry. For a two-person made movie, however, I feel they did a decent job.

Overall Opinion: If you can find it for a decent price, get it. Otherwise, it isn't worth your time.

Okay, I'll admit it. Rabid curiosity got the better of me and I actually bought the video. So bite me.

As others have pointed out, the actual sex scenes are brief and few. And yes, Tommy's hung like a horse, bless his heart. But, what really interested me about this video is that if you really, REALLY pay attention, there are elements of the relationship between Tommy and Pam which are so subtle they are likely to be missed if you're too busy waiting for the next sex scene.

Every other word out of their mouths is some derivative of the word f**k -- perhaps one of their wedding gifts should have been a thesaurus -- and their conversations are pretty boring for the most part. But, the oh-so-subtle difference in the way they treat each other was fascinating to me. While every other sentence out of Pam's mouth was "I love you!" ("I love you! Hey, look at that f***ing view! I love you! Let's make chiliburgers tonight. I love you!) there was a seeming insincerity behind it. When Tommy told Pam he loved her, much less often I might add, he said it with absolute conviction. His surprising her on her birthday with a private boat party and tons of gifts was beyond sweet. He was more excited about her opening her gifts than she was. And he's a much better listener than she is. I never really thought much about either of them beyond what I'd read or heard in entertainment news, but my opinion after seeing this video is that Pam is a vain, selfish, self-absorbed airhead and Tommy, while no neuro-surgeon himself, is really a pretty sweet, sensitive guy who, when he loves, seems to love deeply and completely.

Watch again and fast forward through the sex scenes. See for yourself.

"Baby, I gotta be preggos 'cause you were so, far, inside me, that I was like inside out." "Baby, that is one weenis." "Oh, lover, you are so beautiful." All the screenwriters Andy Warhol ever worked with couldn't have come up with the dialogue of this "inadvertent" hardcore travelogue of the Pam and Tommy honeymoon, which is white-trash cretinism boiled down to a post-bakeage minimalism that is genuinely mind-blowing. These may be the two stupidest people ever committed to celluloid. If you ever wondered what a doobie-baked stripper says to her heroin-riddled tattooed deadbeat boyfriend before he passes out on her floor, this will provide some much-needed answers.