Toys Are Not for Children

The good people at Something Weird Video obviously don't watch any of the exploitative junk they distribute and simply put films together purely based on matching titles or something! "Toys are not for Children" sounds like an ideal companion for another movie called "The Toy Box", but if you've seen them both, you can immediately conclude these two movies differ enormously when it comes to atmospheres, filming styles, substance and intensity level. "The Toy Box" is totally lurid and nonsensical crap about sexist aliens, whereas "Toys are not for Children" is an aspirant-controversial and mildly perverted tale about a girl with an unhealthy desire for her father. This is not a particularly pleasant movie – and definitely not the usual type of light-headed sleaze Something Weird brings forward – but it's nevertheless a curious attempt at drama and adult themes. 19-year-old Jamie is obsessed with her daddy ever since her shrewish mother kicked him out for visiting prostitutes. He still sends her presents and she "plays" with them, all right, but let's just say the toy soldier didn't get any training for this type of field work… Jamie gets married but refuses to sexually satiate with her husband and still only wants to play with daddy's toys and recapture memories of her early childhood. She then flees to the big city and moves in with an elderly prostitute who introduces her to a lot of old perverts that just love to act like Jamie's daddy. You don't need a degree in quantum-physics to predict the film builds up towards an actual encounter between Jamie and her dad in a climax oozing with incestuous vibes, bizarre fetishism and abrupt acts of vengeance. The atmosphere and themes of "Toys …" may be extremely sordid and sleazy, but there's actually very little nudity or sexual content on screen. Writer/director Stanley Brassloff had copious opportunities to turn the movie into one gigantic sex feast (Jamie's husband picks up randy girls in bars, Pearl's pimp assaults women, etc…) but the sexual content largely remains suggestive and off-screen. Rather than to focus on all the luscious and willing women in the film, the story solely revolves on the frigid Jamie and her messed up sentiments. Like the other genius reviewer already stated, "Toys are not for Children" probably one of the sleaziest concepts ever thought up, but the actual content is rather sober. That's quite a remarkable accomplishment; especially for the early 70's. The production values are also fairly decent, with monotonous but relatively stylish photography and nice musical guidance. Definitely recommended for avid cult fanatics, but stay clear if you're just looking for rancid sleaze. In that case, you're better off watching the aforementioned "The Toy Box".

I love trashy, bad movies but this was too much for me.

I am a big John Waters fan and thought this would be funny. Actually, it is a stab at being psychosexual. Evelyn Kingsley's huge nipples gave me nightmares.

Nineteen going on twenty, Jamie Godard (Marcia Forbes) has issues. When she was a little girl, her father doted on her, but his liking for prostitutes saw him thrown out of the house, leaving Jamie longing for dear daddy while her bitter mother told her that all men are worthless. Jamie's love for her father leads to an unhealthy obsession with the toys that he sends her, and a curiosity about the women of the night with whom daddy associates.

When Jamie strikes up a friendship with working girl Pearl (Evelyn Kingsley), her mother throws her out, and so she goes and gets hitched to her toy-store co-worker Charlie Belmond (Harlan Cary Poe), who is keen to get his tasty young bride in the sack. Unfortunately for Charlie, Jamie has no interest in him sexually, preferring the company of her toys in bed. Understandably frustrated, Charlie hits the local night spots to pick up women who will take care of his needs. Eventually, Jamie moves in with Pearl and her pimp Eddie (a wonderfully slimy performance from Luis Arroyo), changes her look and decides to sell her body, just like the ladies that daddy loves so much - a career choice that indulges her incestuous fantasies, but ultimately leads to tragedy.

Wow! This is one of those totally messed up '70s gems that makes being a fan of obscure cult cinematic oddities such fun. Oozing perversity without being excessively sleazy (nudity is kept to a minimum), it trundles along its increasingly twisted path, benefitting from a winning central performance from the delectable Miss Forbes in her one and only movie role. Writer/director Stanley H. Brassloff's restraint only goes to make the shocking final act all the more impactful.

For those who like their movies to explore taboo themes and possess an emotional wallop, this is highly recommended viewing, and would make a terrific double bill with the equally perverse Love Me Deadly (1972), which deals with the uncomfortable subject of necrophilia.

Toys Are Not For Children and this movie isn't for everyone. Aesthetically, it looks like it was scrapped together with a child's leftover lunch money, but the story, while sleazy, seems to have higher aspirations than low budget sleaze.

A young woman has an unhealthy obsession with her father whom she never sees since her mother separated from him due to his various infidelities. She lives in a stunted kind of existence, still playing with toys he bought her. This infuriates her husband whose upset that she doesn't want to have sex with him. Unhappy with her life, she runs away and ends up befriending a middle aged high class prostitute who gets her into the world's oldest profession where she meets men who are old enough to be her father and...well...let's just leave it at that.

If one were to read this script, I'm sure it would practically ooze sleaze, but the film itself feels more like a slightly more edgy after school special with precious little actual nudity or sexual content. Performances are spirited in that grand old low budget film way and one could almost believe they were brought over from the John Waters or Andy Milligan flick filming a few states away.

Toys Are Not For Children does a great job of balancing true drama and sleaze.

A sexually repressed young woman with an unhealthy attachment to her father can't make a relationship work so she becomes a prostitute.

With a few tweaks here and there, Toys Are Not for Children could pass as an early John Waters movie with its strange themes, odd acting, and low budget filming style, but this one seems to want to be taken a little more seriously, which makes it a far more disturbing, if not somewhat amusing, viewing experience. This won't be one for everyone.