Dark Realm

...in any number of 80s/90s/very early aughts horror anthologies. I'm a sucker for anthologies and I don't even know why when so many of them are middling...at best. This is no exception. There aren't any surprises, wit, and very little originality...nor is there any extra bite, meanness or the least bit of controversy as is often the case with network horror anthologies; Night Gallery and X-Files were a rare case of decent network horror/scifi series, but then they also had outstanding writers and directors.

Again, it isn't terrible. There are a few surprisingly well-known actors (though Edward Woodward was wasted in Emma's Boy), which helps. There are certainly worse anthologies and if you are just in the mood to park your head into idle and not have to exert a lot of effort mentally, there are worse ways to spend 45 min.

I thought I had already written about this sappy horror show, but so be it. Here goes: Eric Roberts hosted a short-lived anthology series in 2000 that essentially was TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE all over again. The show stank to high heaven, with bad plots and scripting and worse acting. Roberts was even worse as the host, delivering his lines with all the indifference he could muster. Peter Fonda might have done a better job. Hell, a wooden Indian would have done a better job. I have probably seen most of the existing episodes, but one that stands out in my mind-- as it does with many others -- is the one where an office worker slowly turns into a tiger after having been bitten by one. In her office, mind you. It was simply a werewolf plot, substituting a tiger for a werewolf. If you watch this show, be prepared. You may have to rewire your jaw after it hits the floor.

DARK REALMS has been running again on Chiller. Eric Roberts was the (mostly ineffective) host of this short-lived horror/fantasy anthology series. Some episodes were downright silly, like the one about a tiger biting a lady -- in an office, mind you. Others were more convincing like the one about a guy who must face all the people he wronged in life and another about two brothers trapped in a house party that isn't quite what it seems. Problem is, the series, like TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE before it, was shot on the ultracheap with as few sets and actors as possible. And as little action as possible. And no special effects to speak of. And it shows, even in the best episodes. This is no "Tales From The Crypt" or "Twilight Zone," although heaven knows it tried to be. And it was a Canadian job to boot, which should tell you plenty. Only THE X-FILES could get away with being a Canadian job (notice how badly that show fell off when it relocated to L.A.).

I stumbled across this show one day on a "series marathon" run by one of those triple-digit cable channels. Watching it was a nostalgic reminder of those crappy low-budget shows that popped up in syndication in the 1908s and 1990s, and it is no joke to say that this was a pale imitation of them. The fact that Eric Roberts was their idea of a great host (or just the best host they could get) speaks volumes about what follows. While there are some decent performances and a couple of good effects, the plots are tired, the sets bare-bones, and many of the "actors" are never-would-bes for whom their appearance is the first -- and fortunately last -- time they were able to convince someone to put them in front of a camera. It is less remarkable that only thirteen episodes were produced than that they actually found someone to produce those thirteen. If this ever shows up on the schedule, don't be tempted and watch something better instead, like a test pattern.

The show is basically a poor mans X Files, with every week being a different story that involves the supernatural.

Out of the episodes I've seen (its on at about 2am), the Curse of the Tiger Gang episode would have to be the funniest. A woman is bitten by a tiger (in her office mind you) and begins to grow nasty. A tatoo appears where the bite should be (although it jumped around from one side to the other) until she becomes a TIGER!!! What clever writing.

And it would be Dark Realm without Eric Roberts mind boggling summaries at the end. Not only does it not make sense, but doesn't even fit what the show was about.

If you like a good laugh at the expense of washed up celebrities, or just like really bad shows, then trust me, this is for you.