Satan's Touch

Ok, imagine this, your 12 years old in your local movie rental store. You're of course looking for horror movies, you want to see blood, and some t&a. So as we're cruising the section, we pickup April Fools Day (great 80's horror) and we want to get one more. We're scanning the box covers when I run into Satans Touch. The box looked promising, a hot looking woman, with huge exposed, well you know ^ ^ and a pentagram etched in blood on her hand.

We're thinking "hell yeah" so we check out the story on the back of the case. It says its about someone who makes a deal with the devil for all the good things in life. We're thinking, here comes the blood and nudity. We get home, and we pop it into the vcr and wait. What the hell, it's a movie about gambling. This is one of the few movies I will give a rating of 1. If you see this on a shelf, run, fast.

The Devil himself, a rather unimposing fellow who looks like a member of a late-70s yaght rock band, targets a small-town Idaho grocer to be led into a life of sin. This evil plan of action transpires as said grocer and wife win a trip to Las Vegas...and every bet they make there is a winner. Much to the amazement of casino personnel, a machine rigged to never pay off actually DOES do so, sparking an investigation into the mysterious luck of the Idaho couple. Meanwhile, the disco devil looks on and laughs....

SATAN'S TOUCH is by no means a horror film, so don't let the fact that its in the horror section of your video shop with creepy box art fool you....this indigent regional obscurity probably never saw a theatrical release, and I'd bet two ears and a tail that it originated as a Christian scare film produced expressly for church screenings. Whatever the case, it's a bottom-feeder banquet of briny, low-tide slop which simply begs to be dismissed.

One lonely star(out of ten).