They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore

Nathan Schiff's "They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore" is an extremely gory horror film about two Texas gardeners,Billy Buck(John Smihula) and Jacob(Adam Berke),who mutilate yuppies.The film mixes the gory imagery with broad comedy.The gore is pretty extreme and disgusting,but the special effects are really crummy,so it's hard to take them seriously.Basically various people are killed and dismembered in the variety of grisly ways."They Don't Cut the Grass Anymore" is much better than Schiff's debut "Weasels Rip My Flesh",so if you like 'em bloody give it a look.Here is my favourite gore scene:a young girl swallows a firecracker before taking a shotgun blast in her crotch!

This is only the first film I've seen from the collection of Long Island director and exploitation buff Nathan Schiff (I believe it was his third) and I was fairly amused by it, which was his intention for the most part. In that regard, TDCTGA (a fun title, by the way) was occasionally entertaining for me in a humorous way and prevented it from being a BOMB.

Of course, it's 8mm homegrown film-making and extremely crude, too. The acting and dialogue is terrible across the board, and there's no real story to the gruesome festivities other than two Texas dimwits hacking folks to pieces out in the suburbs -- but narrative is not necessarily a requirement for an exploitation flick, as long as it delivers the gory goods. And in that department, Schiff surprised me at times with the realistic-looking execution of some of his splatter sequences, while at other times they were so obviously fake that they lost the desired effect. In any case, it's always interesting to see independent efforts like this one, and note how the filmmakers try to utilize whatever effects, sets and locations are available to them. Here, a ravaged old house that was about to be torn down is put to good use as the sickening dwelling place of our featured maniacs.

If this had been made 20 years earlier it probably could have played in grindhouse theatres. It's too bad times have changed. Anyway -- I'd think gore hounds could have some laughs with this one if they know what to expect going in. And what not to expect. * out of ****

First off: please don't complain that this flick is terrible simply because of the bad acting, fake gore or lack of storyline. It was clearly meant to be that way for it is a low budget film. Whatever budget they did have was obviously spent on the gore - this is a gore flick, nothing more nothing less. It's as fake as hell but it keeps you watching, there's never a dull moment. There are also some hilarious lines such as when the girl cries "Please don't rape me!" in the most unconvincing voice ever, to which the gardener replies: "I ain't gonna rape you bitch, you smell like fish, I never did like seafood!" Me and my friend are always quoting that line! It's so bad but so hilarious. If you watch this with the right frame of mind, ie. not expecting a great film but expecting fake gory silliness, then you should enjoy it. Sadly there's not many people around that would take this film for what it is.

This is a extremely low budget movie as you can guess if you've watched any of Nathan Schiff's movies. If you're looking for a movie with a plot and good acting then you're looking in the wrong place. In Schiff's previous movie "Long Island Cannibal Massacre" he presented the viewers with a plausible plot but in this one it didn't come close to that. It's amazing that Nathan Schiff didn't get one single good actor, by good i mean, someone that could at least deliver one line convincingly, that could light up a cigar naturally but no, no such luck. There's plenty of gore but personally it didn't impress me, it's so unrealistic, so fake looking that you can't associate it with real blood, real skin, guts, etc. Watch at least one Nathan Schiff movie, just to get an idea about what he's all about, maybe this one isn't the best choice.

PLOT

Two `yardworkers' Billy Buck and Jacob are disgusted by the upper society and they express their anger on Northern Yuppies in very different and violent ways..

COMMENTS

This movie appeared on DVD on Feb. 24 and I immediately bought it. IMDB has only 2 (by far) reviews on this movie which I liked. Being a gore fan I was really exited about this movie. Itself the movie is only 70 min long though I guess it was enough to see the point director Nathan Schiff was trying to show.well.there's no point actually. This movie has a very poor plot , very poor acting and sometimes really silly effects (barby dolls and e.t.c). Though I liked John Smihula's performance. He plays Billy Buck , a big yard worker who along with his ugly friend Jacob mutilate all those Yuppies. The gore scenes are disgusting , am not going to deny it , sometimes really violent. Everything is shown in really close angle , so you get to see everything , the flesh , guts and everything else you need to vomit if u don't have a steel stomach , which is STRONGLY recommended. People are murdered in very different ways with tons of different weapons like chainsaw , hammer , dynamite , steel pipe and e.t.c. Sometimes you can easily see that they use a doll instead of a body . I guess due to financial problems , because this is a 'non budget' movie. Though it has a great ending. Everything is shot with a cheap hand camera and sometimes scenes are not fit in it (at least in DVD version). Though it has a great ending.

DVD version has a good gallery and interviews with the film's director Nathan Schiff and John Smihula who played Billy Buck..plus a few trailers to some short animated parody movies (Attack of the Giant Turtle , Cocktails At Midnight).



OVERALL

As a gorefest this movie is a treasure. As a Good Horror movie with so-so acting , so-so plot it's a total disaster..watch for urself..