Pizza Wars: The Movie

I saw a screening of this film with no expectations. I should have gone in with negative expectations because I was sorely disappointed. Several of my friends worked on the film, so I gave the movie the benefit of the doubt. The crew involved with the making of the film loved the movie, but your creation is always beautiful to you. I wasn't connected to this film by involvement, so as an "outsider" I was impartial to this film, an unbiased judge.

Man, what a waste of 2 hours. The plot made no sense to me, something about a genie and wishes and pizza and wars and ... you know, who cares. The script was silly. The sets were cheesy, like "Batman & Robin". The acting was unbearable. And I think the soundtrack was lifted from porn.

I can't recommend this movie unless you are an insomniac desperate for pain.

New Rule: being a Mary Kate fan, whether referencing an Olsen or otherwise, will obliterate your credibility entire; and, in my opinion, it should and often does. This film, as screened at San Jose's Cinequest Film Festival, was made to be extremely tongue-in-cheek like some live action version of Tex Avery's wild episode into schizophrenia. From the onset, the zany and flippant musical cues and stock-packaged circus sound effects should have served as a warning that any film snob within a mile radius should prepare to ship their tightly-wound behinds back home.

The film's plot -- centralizing around a mom-n-pop pizzeria gaining an advantage with a secret "oregano" over its frachised competition -- is just a mere service platter for the juvenile antics that come racing along. One device used is the comic duality behind each of the two main characters: they each play two characters, the child and respective parent, like some funkafied homage to Peter Sellers in "Doctor Strangelove" (or more accurately, Eddie Murphy in "The Nutty Professor"). Either way, Freud would be nodding in agreement. While the execution is not nearly as convoluted or as refreshing as I have described it to be, it does spark some level exuberance, an eagerness, only film students can offer. Such charm is priceless and in short supply.

Within reason, the film (budgeted primary by a group of college professors) is not well-sewn together, particularly in the predictable scenarios given to the characters and the sitcom-like roughness pushed into each of the green-magenta-neon-lit frames. But, to say it is a "waste of two hours" is flagrantly unjust for there is a sense of youthful joy, devoid of Hollywood cynicism, to be had here. Also, like some independent garage band's LP one discovers at a local record store, there is wonderment to be felt in discovering an artist's first steps. One has an inkling, call it a Cleo premonition, that two or three features down the line, these filmmakers will perfect their craft -- if you cannot find joy in that, do me a favor, take a number for the next casting of "The Grinch".

-- ACN

Hey Jeff,

This was a project for students to have an experience making a film. Maybe the reason the ones involved enjoyed watching it so much was because it was a project they worked on and were merely having a good time watching the final product. It's college. Everything was done by students who were still learning.

Why all the hating?

I've seen your Eddie Tingley "movies". You, my friend, have ZERO place to be making comments on what good comedy or comedic film acting is.

Although have you ever watched Three of a Kind? Now THAT is comedic genius! I think you and I can agree, eh buddy? ;-)

This was by far the worst movie I have ever watched in my life. I completely wasted 2 hours of my life. It was very, very painful. For your own good, never watch this film.

This was a film done at San Jose State University and for the most part, the only people who enjoyed it were those individuals who were in the movie. They enjoyed seeing themselves on screen. For the rest of us with no ties to the film, this film was just plain bad. The movie had no real plot and all attempts at comedy completely failed. I did appreciate some of the camera effects by the DP, but not enough to save this from getting a terrible score.

Director Babak Sarrafan has woven together an absolute splendid tale of pizzas, genies, and wishes come true in this truly comedic tale. Two bumbling pizza delivery boys (of large proportion) discover Gene in a magical water-pipe. They use his wish granting in order to combat the huge Ozcorp company from taking over all pizza companies, thus guaranteeing them their family owned business' success. Think along the lines of any silly teen movie mixed with Cheech & Chong's drug-induced flicks. This movie was quite amusing, and a very good effort from Sarrafan. Unlike the other review, I thought this film showed promise, had plenty of off-beat humor, strange plotting, and was overall enjoyable. If this is any indication of his other works, look forward to some great comedies.