Intermedio

"Intermedio" is a film with 2.5 IMDb User Rating. Unfortunately this site is no longer reliable with many fake and one line reviews. Therefore I do not look anymore the IMDb rating to select the movies I will see. However "Intermedio" is indeed awful, with laughable dialogs, characters and special effects and senseless storyline. Watching this flick is a complete waste of time. My vote is two.

Title (Brazil): "Caverna Maldita II" ("The Damned Cave II")

I have to admit, I cribbed that line straight from the movie. I'm not sure if the actor was trying to put his personal spin on "what the heck" or if the writer is just plain retarded, but that is the caliber of dialogue you are likely to find in Intermedio. I know, I know, it's a horror movie, who gives about the dialogue? Is there gore or nudity in this? Yes on gore, no on nudity - which is a shame, given their leading lady. The gore was cool and I have to admit the intermedio was kind of creepy. But really, some of the situations in this movie are so ridiculous it will make you yell out, "Oh, come on!" in a movie whose premise involves white drug dealers, haunted caves, and men who can endure massive mutilations without immediately going into shock. But other than that, there isn't much to recommend this movie since it isn't even funny enough accidentally to make it worthwhile. There are bright spots, however. The intermedios, as I've said before, are kind of creepy. There are some nice computer effects in there and the sets are actually far and above what one would expect from a low budget movie. In short, hats off to the makeup/effects people, the location scout, and the wardrobe folks for putting the ladies in tight T-shirts. The writer and director, on the other hand, should be fed to the lions.

This has to be without a doubt one of the worst movies with some of the worst acting I have ever seen. Pathetic does not begin to describe it. Painful on the eyes and ears would be an understatement. A bunch of teenagers with guns run around in a cave yelling, screaming, and cursing at one another while a mad warlock controls spirits that maim and kill them in some mysterious way-they get sucked through doors, sucked into the ground, become covered in blood. At least one of the guys was relatively nice looking and almost provided eye candy. That's about the brightest point of the movie other than when the credits roll and you realize that it thankfully has ended.

A group of four teenage friends become trapped in a Mexican border tunnel where they fall prey, one-by one, to tortured ghosts who haunt it.

This movie deserves recognition as having possibly the best actors to appear in such a terrible film -- Edward Furlong, Cerina Vincent, Amber Benson... not that these are A-listers, but how did such a terrible film attract people who have had such notable careers? This could have been played by amateurs.

I am not blaming the actors, of course. There is no way this could have been good. Maybe a new director, new script, a few other changes... of course, then it would have been another film entirely. Which is what it would take to make this one good.

This is a standard teens-against-monsters horror quickie, and you know what that means. There is not one iota of originality in this movie; you've seen every one of these recycled plot devices a hundred times before.

Stock teen character personality types: check. Stupidly going somewhere they shouldn't be: check. In the middle of nowhere: check. Grotesque, vicious ghosts/creatures of some kind that get a kick out of killing teens: check. Teens turning into monsters too, and trying to croak the remaining survivors: check. Weird old man who has a history with the evil: check. Incessant screaming, futile banging on doors to escape, arguing about how to kill the creatures, running around in caves, characters "calming down" each other, lots of red paint on stomachs and necks, surprise attacks from supposed allies on each other, cars that don't run, monsters that just keep on chasing you etc etc etc. Check.

The acting and scripting are even below the established low level for this kind of movie. This one is only good for background noise while you're doing chores; or to laugh at it MST3K style. As for a story? Nope.