Ring of Desire

My wife and I heard someone from our city directed this. We watched it. This movie is horrible. I had thought about it for a couple of days, and could not think of a worst movie. This is the worst movie I have ever seen. Even worst than Manos Hands Of Fate. The acting is bad. The editing is bad. The sound is horrific. Someone needs to tell them about ADR. The sound picked up so much from the background. We had closed caption on to understand the opening. The sound cuts out twice. We thought it was our wifi at first. Nope! The captions kept going. The script is bad. So much is badly explained. One of the scenes that lost sound had important dialogue. The direction is terrible. This movie is only 1 hour and 25 minutes long. But it feels so dragged out. Every aspect of this movie is complete garbage. What made it enjoyable was making fun of it. So if you do watch it. Watch it with your friends and make fun of this like Mystery Science Theater 3000. I would give this movie zero stars, but IMDB won't let me.

When the first thing that pops to mind is 'at least Birdemic didn't lose dialogue for whole scenes' you know you're in for a rough watch. This movie makes 'Troll 2' look like 'The Godfather.'

This movie has some of the worst sound editing we've ever heard, and we watch a lot of bad movies. The dialogue cuts out for two long stretches. How is this the Final Cut? Must have run out of money. Guess it doesn't make sense to complain about the lost dialogue because the script is terrible.

If you're into weird scenes of seduction and sex-obsessed lesbians, women from 300 years ago that somehow have full-body tattoos, Australian knock-off David Arquettes, huge plot holes, and excessive bronzer, then please stop what you're doing and watch this movie. It has all that and more.

Can't complain about a campy fun film about discovering a ring in the woods that makes people have great sex. What's artistically creative with the execution of this film is how you're expecting graphic nudity and heavy sex scenes but is actually shown in a creative/burlesque tease style of way. Makes sense given that the director Ronnie Nanos comes from the burlesque community and creates some beautiful images and moments in a film you wouldn't expect to be artistic. Beautiful location up in the mountains with a cabin in the woods, Adriane Mclean is the standout actress who uses the ring's power for her own purposes and pleasures. An entertaining fun late night watch with your partner or your sexy single self.

So when a character is telling you, they are all about white magic and not about hurting people, just to contradict herself a few seconds later by admitting that a certain ring actually has dark magic powers ... you may have discovered that you are overthinking it.

I am not too convinced with the actors, but the story is decent enough I reckon. It would make a good story/shell for a softcore flick I reckon. But while the movie has a lot of sexual situations in it and teases a lot, there is no noteable nudity to speak of (I did not pause or zoom, you just don't see anything in particular and right in your face is what I am saying - no pun intended).

Horror buffs will recognize Felissa Rose ... not the same impact in this as she had in a Sleepaway camp back in the day ... just saying. But a nice touch ...

This movie is poorly made on just... EVERY level.

The audio sounds like they placed the mics in bags of chips or in a running shower. Except for the scenes where there simply was not audible dialogue. What a choice!

The performances remind one of Katie Britt's response to the State of the Union. Wildly vacillating emotions occur within the same line of dialogue. It's a talkie, dammit!

The script... exists, I suppose.

An A/V teacher in 6th grade would give this a solid B- for effort. Like, 'good job on learning to use the camera, Johnny. You exported the movie to an mp4 format and it plays a file that is not corrupted.'

Also, did the lead male actor kind of have the hots for his sister?