Thua me con di

A funny and touching film, one of the best Vietnamese movies.

The Vietnamese film Thua Me Con Di (2019) was shown in the U.S. with the title Goodbye Mother. It was directed by Trinh Dinh Le Minh.

It's a coming-out film about two Vietnamese men. One of them, Van, is the oldest grandson. He has returned from the U.S. for an important memorial service for his grandfather. (Van is portrayed by Lanh Thanh.) His partner, also Vietnamese-American, is Ian (Vo Dien Gia Huy Vo).

Van is slow in coming out to his family, but his grandmother (Nsut Le Thien) understands that the two men are gay. The men look enough alike to confuse grandmother, and she bonds to Ian, not Van. But, she knows what's going on.

This movie would have worked well as I've reviewed it above. However, director Trinh Dinh Le Minh has added a subplot full of family melodrama. I haven't seen enough films from Vietnam to know if this drama is expected of any movie, even a relatively light comedy. However, the subplot skews the story away from its basic plot--coming out in a traditional family.

We saw this film as part of Rochester's important ImageOut LGBTQ Film Festival. (Virtual this year.) It has a strong IMDb rating of 7.5. I thought it was even better than that, and rated it 8.

This story shows very well the difficult terrain that two Vietnamese guys must deal with. They both live in US where of course, being gay is far more understood & tolerated. On a visit to one of their families in Vietnam, the pressure is so well shown by the family expecting the son to get married. Its a familiar story for lots of gay people. When are you going to get married? Wanting to be honest but fearing the alienation, criticism, potential violence & exclusion is something that gay people understand very well. There is a wonderful relationship between the grandmother (who has dementia, but actually figures out the important things) & not her grandson, but his partner! She is confused between the two guys, but she knows love when she sees it!

I am not Vietnamese, and was curious to see what life there is like. I found this film to be warm, engaging, and a window into a culture I know little about other than its food and history. The actors were all excellent, especially the two male leads and the grandma. Totally worth your time. Nice film about the meaning of family and acceptance.

This movie is beyond my expectations. The storyline and the way the director address the plot are exceptional. Definitely one of my top rated movies in 2020.