The Machine

I really wanted to like this movie and I didn't hate it per se, but it was not what the trailer made it out to be. I am a huge fan of comedy/action movies like The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent but this one didn't quite fit the bill. The set up took way too long. I spent the first probably hour and fifteen minutes thinking meh I could leave and wouldn't care if I didn't see the end. It hit its stride in the middle and then tied everything together but not in the most satisfying way. The main character arc seemed a little abrupt and not so much earned. Mark Hamil was not used correctly. He did the best with what he was given and it seemed like a film he would have enjoyed making but his comedy was a little forced. The best part of this film was definitely the end, when the comedy reached its peak. The action was very fun to watch on the big screen but other than that if you've seen the trailer you've seen the best comedy it has to offer.

I think 6/10 is very fair here. It's not a great movie, and that's ok. If you like Brent Chrysler, you'll be entertained by this movie. I can see why he was so happy with how the movie turned out, it's just all him being something he's not for two hours (which again, is fine!). I can tell this was really just something that everyone involved with had a lot of fun with, from the actors to the editors with those kitschy transitions and strange Russian subtitles. It's quirky, and I think it works here.

Mark Hamill was a crazy get for this movie and I can't believe he agreed to do it. It definitely helped the movie's case. Jimmy Tatro was a good casting for young Bert as well.

One observation to make- Bert's character in this is literally Po from Kung Fu Panda. It's just a fat guy who dumb lucks his way through everything until the very end when his actions seem a bit more intentional and he accepts who he really is inside.

I'm able to switch my brain off and kinda just waltz thru movies that are at that level so it was a solid 5 stars. It's overproduced for what it is and that's probably why I give it a 5, but it's "The Machine" story being milked for what it is, a good story that, as time goes on, start to feel more like an overinflated teenager's story that loses any sense of credibility at all, that is not a great story after all. It's unfortunately the thing that pushed me to realize that I'm getting a bit tired of Bert's inflated ego and that maybe outside of the machine and his forced high pitch laugh, he doesn't have much else to offer.

Bert Kreischer gets a lot of hate and a part of me would've loved to see him come out with a terrific film to shut all his haters up. Unfortunately that was not the case. This film was not a lot of fun to watch at all.

Kreischer has no comedic timing and no sense of when to let a joke breathe. Comedy isn't easy and people only think it is because the best make it look so effortless. The biggest mistake they made in this film though was casting Mark Hamill, who is also painfully unfunny, giving Bert no one to play off. Hamill is trying so hard in every scene he's in, but he's not a funny guy and doesn't have any charisma.

So all you're left with is the story, and the story gets old pretty fast. This film is only 112 minutes but it feels much, much longer than that. The concept might work in a 13 minute stand-up clip, but stretched out to this length it becomes pretty tedious. 4/10.

I don't know much about bert kreisher as a stand up comedian and this seems to be the first film he has stared in. This film is fun and funny at times but its not by burt that makes it funny. Its the scary russian characters that are including mark hamil who can only sound like the joker in my head. In this movie burt and his father are kidnapped by an attractive woman named irina. She wants a watch returned to her that was a family hairloom and she believes burt took it. Back in college he was known as the machine and became involed in the russian mob. Its hard to believe this film is actually based on a true story. But anyway acting was good and this film is decent enough as a crime action movie cut out the sort of comedy and its a pefectly fine film still.