They/Them/Us

This movie hits all the marks, it had me laughing, crying, and everything in between. A candid and hilarious story grounded in real life with characters that speak to emotional phases in all stages of life. It highlights to the adventure inherent in raising teenagers, finding love after a first marriage ends, and following an artistic life, all while fumbling along the way and laughing at the absurdity these circumstances can create.

This is a really great movie showing some of the complexities of modern blended families and modern parenting. I loved the balance of funny moments and thoughtful moments. Really well done!

I've been a writer and educator in the BDSM scene for thirty years, and I've traveled around the country to speak to kinksters (including more than a few visits to Columbus, where the movie is set). I didn't catch this film making a single misstep in terms of the scene as it actually exists in outwardly mainstream, heterosexual America - if you want to know what lies behind all the popular images of latex-clad dominatrixes in towering heels, this is your movie.

It was not flawless. Some bits were thrown in there for cheap laughs, and others to move the plot along (often a bit faster than is realistic). But both principals are completely believable and moving, as are their four kids, particularly the non-binary teen and the teen with drug issues.

I think the film may have audience problems, in that people who want to hear about blended families in the 21st century do not necessarily want to hear about BDSM, and vice versa. But if you have any interest in either topic, and you're reasonably open-minded about alternative sexualities and genders, this is well worth a couple of hours of your time.

This is a small budget movie, and that is not a bad thing, but it also means that the story and the acting have to be good. The actors, everyone of them, deliver. Joey Slotnick had plenty of opportunities to make his character absolutely ridiculous. Instead he hits precisely the right balance of smart, funny, awkward, caring, and lost that most of us feel in our own lives. Sometimes he gets it right, sometimes he gets it wrong, and sometimes he just can't win. But you like him and you root for him. Amy Hargreaves is amazing, as well. She provides an extremely nuanced performance as Lisa, portraying her as highly competent in many areas of her life and less confident in others. Sometimes placing her needs (and her kink) on the back burner in order to preserve her relationship and her family. To sum up her character and performance in a word, it has to be charming. I think all of the actors portraying the kids have bright futures ahead, because every one of them nailed it.

As far as story, the film either needed another ten or fifteen minutes or a subplot cut. While billed as a comedy, there are some pretty heavy dramatic moments. Having said that, the script was well written and the story is complex without being overly opaque. There are some very funny moments in this film, so it deserves the comedy tag, but dramedy might be a better description.

Now we come to the kinky bits. This was refreshingly realistic. Most people into kink have jobs, families, bills to pay, and the normal headaches of living. This film does a nice job of showing that. They have fun with kink and kinksters while also respecting it, so kudos for that.

All in all, I really liked this film. It was nice to watch a film that was actually shot in reality and not crammed with CGI. If you are from the Columbus, OH area, you'll probably have a lot of fun recognizing the locations. The acting was great and the story was very good. Worth your time.

This well-acted, well-directed, and well-scripted romp through the minefield of blended families and mildly kinky sex will have you smiling and feeling good for ... 90 minutes. You heard me: not three hours, not two hours, but 90 concise minutes. Unlike all that caped tripe where the world is being saved from one idiotic peril after another, this indie film gets to the point and is made for ... gasp ... grown-ups. The one-star reviews were clearly produced by people who were having a hemorrhoidal flare-up that day, and the ten-star people were involved in the making of; the truth is north of five stars, though. They/them/us is a perfectly safe, modern take on the family that will entertain any adult of any persuasion, and may even delight their teenage kids. A solid seven.