Troll

Warning: you will not - repeat, WILL NOT - read a very honest and objective review here. For as long as I can remember I've been obsessed with tales originating from Scandinavian folklore, fairy-tales, and historic sagas, and it's literally since decades that I've been waiting for a film like "Troll". Well, I've been waiting for slightly more than just one decade, more specifically since the release of that other massively entertaining (and even better) "Troll Hunter".

This is the stuff we watch films for, is it not? An ancient and humongous creature, looking & sounding exactly like you have always imagined it from stories and drawings in children's books, exploding - literally - out of a picturesque mountain landscape and promptly pursuing its way to the capital of Oslo (Godzilla-style) and destroying everything on its path! Awoken due to mankind's inability to leave Mother Nature intact and at peace. Artillery cannot harm it. Tanks cannot slow it down. Army helicopters are plucked out of the sky as if they were toys. And, still, the only paleontologist who comes with effective alternative solutions to save the nation gets overruled by obnoxious politicians. Again, ... do you think I'm biased?

Of course, I'm not blind for the script's many defaults. The supportive cast largely exists out of cardboard stereotypes, like the comic-relief prime minister's advisor, the rebellious hacker-secretary, and the GI Joe army hero. The sub plot covering the estranged father-daughter relationship is also quite dire, and I deeply regret the fact writer/director Roar Uthaug didn't have the courage to show more violence and bloodshed. Presumably to safeguard the PG-rating, the Troll even has a conscience and refuses to squish little kids.

But seriously, it doesn't matter all that much, because everything revolves around the massive troll. It looks astonishing! It's a truly magnificent sight how the creature merges with the landscape, how it shrieks in melancholy, or how it rapidly and menacingly approaches from the horizon. Awesome, awesome, awesome!

Another detail that had made "Troll" even more fantastic would have been a soundtrack by the genius folk-metal band Finntroll. Granted, they are Finnish instead of Norwegian, but their lyrics and melodic tunes fit this film perfectly.

The reviewers here are funny... the 'top review'er apologizing because he's norwegian and is ashamed that this film is from Norway... then there's the 'average film with a lot of LOGIC flaws'...i am, seriously, laughing as i type this...but it's great that the reviewers can be as entertaining as the film, right? Why stop the entertainment with the end credits... but anyone approaching this expecting shakespeare, weeeelllllllll...okay, but we already know the answer to the 'to be or not to be', as far as this being 'realistic'... it's a paint by numbers, substitute a troll for Godzilla type of story. I was amazed at the similarities...beginning with the myth...the way to handle the situation...the 'humanizing' of the creature... pop some corn and have some fun, if it seems like you're in the mood for what you think this movie will be like...it's not badly done...it's just, somewhat, trite if you've seen the movies this was modeled after...

Watching this I thought it's just going to be your average monster action movie... and you know what? It is. So yeah it delivered that big monster itch.

Here's the thing however...is that the human aspect of this movie is not it. They're too campy and not in a good way. Just one dimensional. You got those authority figures who are stupid and one minded. The underdog main character who stomps on authority because they're brave that way who clearly knows more but isn't being listened to...etc. The set-up is just too obvious that any emotional deviation doesn't feel right because it's done in a shallow way.

The Troll had some backstory depth going for it but alas it's put on the backburner because this is ultimately a humans win movie. They wasted that plot and just went with the typical "Monster bad, must kill".

Would rate it 5.5 but rounding it up coz I like their depiction of the Troll. But anyway overall it's a good enough monster flick. The CGI is believable. Action wise, it's not as destructive and packed as like Pacific Rim for example, pretty tame tbh. Good for a weekend watch.

There's a being hidden deep within the rocks, imprisoned in a craggy granite box, but progress has awakened, now the land is quaked and shaken, leaving everyone who sees a bit flummoxed. Not to worry, just keep calm and carry on, where there's danger we have guns and tanks and bombs, blow this unknown thing to bits, with some well aimed direct hits, then in no time, this fiend will be all gone. Alas persistence seems to be one of his keys, as the missiles fail to bring him to his knees, we shall strike a stronger blow, against this ogre of a foe, dispatch the nukes, and he'll be cast into the breeze.

A thoroughly enjoyable tale, reflects accurately the response of many when presented with difference and diversity, but also those who recognise its wonders.

So in movies like this, I don't expect the Godfather.... but I do expect something. I can accept the premise that trolls have been sleeping underground etc etc. But it is so dumb. You literally have people staring at the troll, you have a person say hey that looks like a troll, then 8 people in the movie go you're crazy, that's not a troll. So what is it? Let's discuss what the troll in front of us is? Does anyone know what kinda troll that troll thing might be. But don't call it a troll. It's like how in every zombie movies the people in the movie live in an alternate reality where they've never heard of zombies before.

Oh we're facing a 100 foot tall giant made of rock... let's attack the obviously armored creature with 5.56 Nato rounds.... that'll do the trick. Oh he destroyed all of us.... oh... I have ammo left and the creature has calmed down... let me shoot at it again! Ooops I'm dead.