Death Rider in the House of Vampires

Do you love Westerns? How about actors who make porn dialogue seem like Shakespeare? Cinematography that looks like it was done on a home video camera from the 80s? There you go. I didn't even make it 30 minutes.

Might be the worst movie I've ever seen. The first 20 minutes can be skipped without missing anything.there are no redeeming qualities in this movie. The acting is bad, the dialogue is bad, the sound editing is awful. I have no idea how they got Eli Roth and Dany Trejo into this lousy excuse of a movie.

Movies like this don't seem to come around too often, at least I don't see them.

Definitely a B movie reminiscent of the 70's, includes an over use of blood and an abundance of gorgeous women, some missing their shirts. If you're in to B movies, this is the movie for you... I suppose some people would drop it in the category "So bad it's good", but just like "The Room" I don't really agree with that - it's just bad.

It does have a few good things about it -

Besides the girls being great to look at, they're actually not the worst with their acting. Their accents and slang from the wild west were pretty decent, not gonna win an oscar or anything but, decent. Also, Julian Sands (The Count) seems out of place here since he actually plays the part really well, the best acting of the movie by far.

The story and setting is also fun and as far as I know pretty original, although the plot is VERY basic with dialogue to match.

Also one small thing I really liked was watching them shoot their pistols. It looked pretty realistic (as in, not perfect).

Honestly, the whole film could be elevated to a praiseworthy B-movie that almost shouldn't be classified as a B-movie if it fixed 2 things:

1) Editing -

The shots hang on way too long. I'm not sure if it's for "artistic" value or what, but way too many times does it zoom in on a character and then fade out over an uncomfortable amount of time, sometimes the zoom will even have a clear stop and then an ever-so-slight zoom again (which made me laugh).

The couple of fight scenes could improve by leaps and bounds too.

2) The sound mixing -

WOW the film could be SO much better if this was done right. The movie is QUIET except for dialogue.

The score is barely heard and when it is it's very low, and the bar scenes especially suffer from this.

You can tell no one is making a sound in the scene and you can only hear the faintest whisper of background chatter added in. You need glasses clanking and people talking over each other. It's seriously very bizarre that the sound levels for background noises (extremely low) and effects (abnormally high) are what they are, but dialogue is normal. Actually, a lot could be elevated by the sound mix being fixed, even the acting.

I had to rate it a 2 because even though I appreciated the original plot and enjoyed the film more than "The Room" (which I also rated a 2), the technical issues are just too glaring to overcome.

No pun intended - actually the better pun has already been used by someone else: From Dusk til Yawn. Kudos and well done is what I say to that. I bow to that and acknowledge the genius behind it. Something I cannot say (with a straight face) about the movie at hand. I do like Devon Sawa - Final Destination was his breakout for me and many others. It is always nice to see him in anything ... still I can't rate it better just because of that.

Not will I rate it better (or worse for that matter), just because the movie starts off with him on a horse ... and naked lady with him. Actually while that may be a selling point to some, the first 15 minutes are quite unnecessary ... nothing much is being done there ... ok so the best thing out of it (except the nudity if you are into it, though you don't really see that much)? The credits - people involved. I assume at least they will be happy about it.

That all being said, the effects are ok and the actors do try their best ... if that is enough for you and you dig western movies with an undead touch ... or bite ... well there you go.

This seems like a movie that sounds like a good idea, in theory, but, best done as a trailer or music video. Or at very least, a limited edition movie poster.