Return to Splatter Farm

Whatever these people were paid to act in this, it was too much.

I think sometimes with horror films, we tend to forgive bad acting and a diabolical script as par for the course. We try and enjoy it for what it is. This however, is an exception to that rule. Painfully bad in absolutely every aspect, rendering it almost unwatchable. Another 90 minutes of my life goes sailing into the abyss that I'll never get back 🙄

As a professional actor I can tell you right now the first opening scene of the movie was done very theatrical with elements of the farm used from green screen (look behind the girl wearing glasses, you'll notice.) Also the two actors in this opening scene clearly are using queue cards to prompt them with their lines. This is what you call 'bad acting.'

Beyond the opening scene I couldn't watch much further. I give it another 10 minutes and then just turned off. The fake blood was just as bad! I don't know what was used but it just didn't even look remotely effective.

Yes This Is A 1 Star Movie but Gave It 2 For the perfect Breasts In The Shower Scene. Amazing What you can do with a 10 Dollar budget. Plastic skeleton a childs plastic sherrif's outfit and a bottle of ketchup.

Thirty three years passed between Mark Polonia's SOV gore film Splatter Farm and this sequel, during which time he directed plenty of other films; you would think he would have improved a lot over the space of three decades, but judging by Return to Splatter Farm, he's actually lost what little skill he had in the first place.

A good slasher usually features attractive people being sliced and diced in creative and gory ways by an iconic killer. Polonia's film features ugly people being offed in lazy and unimaginative ways by a lame maniac (played by Polonia's co-director and writer of this garbage, Jeff Kirkendall), with some truly pathetic special make-up effects.

The film sees Bobbi (Danielle Donahue) and her friends visiting the titular farm, the young woman having recently inherited the place. While there, they are attacked one-by-one by Jeremy, the killer from the first film, who has been living on the farm, bumping off any passers-by.

The acting is diabolical, the direction is basic, and the editing is awful. In addition to the bargain basement gore, Polonia and Kirkendall get two of the 'actresses' to strip for the camera: Jennie Russo as big-breasted middle-aged nympho Gina, and Mel Heflin, who plays Liz, an overweight redhead with delusions that she is sexy (if her skin was green, she'd be Princess Fiona's less attractive sister).

Nowhere near as much fun as the original movie, which had more gore and a certain demented charm about it, Return to Splatter Farm is unforgivably dull and utterly inept (the scene in which lank-haired loser Gopher is hit by lightning being the worst moment).

1.5/10, rounded down to 1 for the terrible theme song.